Ninety nine bottles
of beer on the wall, ninety
nine bottles of beer.
- A Haiku

One two, Freddy's coming for you.
Three four, better lock your door.
Five six, grab your crucifix.
Seven eight, better stay up late.
Nine ten, never sleep again.

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a gurl was walkin2 skewl wit her bf n dey wer crossin ra rode. she sed "bbz wil u luv me 4ever" he said "NO.." da gurl cryed N ran across da rode b4 da green man came to the sine. boy was cring and went to pic up her body. she was ded. he whispered 2 her corpse "I ment 2 sey i will luv u FIVE-ever....." (dat mean he luv her moar dan 4evr.....)

REGLAOGB IF U CREY ALWAYZ..XXX

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based

　　　　　　　　　　　 　 ∧__∧
　　　　　　　　　　　 　( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
　　　　　　　　　　　　⊂　　つ
　　　　　　　　　　　　　(つ ﾉ
　　　　　　　　　　　　　 (ノ
　　　　　＼　　　　　　☆
　　　　　　　　　　　　　|　　　　　☆
　　　　　　　　　　(⌒ ⌒ヽ　　　/
　　　　＼　　（´⌒　　⌒　　⌒ヾ　　　／
　　　　　 （’⌒　;　⌒　　　::⌒　　）
　　　　　（´　　　　　）　　　　　:::　）　／
　　☆─　（´⌒;:　　　　::⌒`）　:;　　）
　　　　　（⌒::　　　::　　　　　::⌒　）
　　 　／　（　　　　ゝ　　ヾ　丶　　ソ　─

Think

I saw exactly 1.09 inch² of a girl's shoulder today:

I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending earth-shattering ğasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone nearby. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce -- shot out so hard that my dıck was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 67 Parsecs /s by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it went right through her, before cutting through a structural girder in the school. The sheer weight of this historical nut caused the school to collapse and every female in the state of Alabama to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions. I'm glad my sister wore a tank-top to school.

You 🐄 think "THEY" suddenly care about you? US? The NecroCannibalPedoSatanic😈🤘Epstein ✡️💰☭ MarxistVampireŔapistOligarcIņbredBoomerDemonMegalomaniacs that want you dumb & dead NOW want you safe from the Flu☣
You think they're locking everything down because THEY don't want to get Corona?
🐄
YOU ARE 🐖🤮 PIG VOMIT

The problem with YOU PEOPLE 🐄 is u don't think. They do.

Right now, we are being locked down -- for the next month or 4ever "JUST IN CASE"
how long b4 we get the all clear? While troops take over the streets

How many realize if we subtract the media 🌐from the equation, no one would know and everything would be fine.

oh, u saw in the news that Iran is digging mass graves.that couldn't possibly be a lie created by the hollywood🔯💰government

You live in this fantasy world

I'm writing this because I just want peace & quiet. But it's very hard. because there are billions of idiots 🤡being lead around like cattle

🖕

OwO

Hey Ni G G e R

she💃🏿💃🏿🙆🏿‍♂️farted on my dičk🚶🏿‍♂️🍆🍆💩💩I was like what the fůck biţch is you fartin😉😉😕she was like naw ni🅱️🅱️a why you lyin😂😂✌️🤚💁🏿‍♀️then I saw drops cūmmin out her a$$😷😷😷yooo she farted on my dïck😰😰then she shïtted😭😭💩💩damn that's a combo👊👊🤚🤚killin šhit biţch call me rambo💯💯😎😎

I spend 5 hours fa pping before my prostate exams. I edge and edge and edge until a butterfly sneezing on my taint could bring me to gasm. I tactfully shuffle my way down to the doctor's office and when he lubes-up, I nearly c u m every time. But I've trained to keggle muscles enough to the point where I can hold in Mount Vesuvius' wrath. Then, as soon as he puts the smallest bit of pressure on my prostate, I unleash with the fury of a lion hunting its prey. As the room gets covered in my hot, sticky juices the doctor looks-on disgusted and leaves the room. I always go to a hospital far away from where I live to get it so that I don't have to go in for surgery under the doctor that I busted to. The best thing is that I have free healthcare here, so the doctor gets me off and it's covered by taxpayers. That's my fetish...

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my ánus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to şhit it back out.

This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my ŕectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.

I think I may have the power to änally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my řectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.

damn

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░░░░░░▐▌▀▄▀▄▀▐▄SPOOKY BOOTY BANGER
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+rep a good medic

T H E Y S T O R M E D N O R M A N D Y F O R T H I S

I showed the BattleField 5 reveal trailer to my Grandad. A man who fought in France. He said...

"Is that a female?"
"Yes grandad"
"Is that face paint?"
"Yes grandad"
"Does she have a prosthetic hand?"

"Yes grandad" He then took his glasses off as his eyes filled with tears and said...

"I lost so many friends in Europe during that war. They weren't ’friends’ at all. They were my brothers. And I miss them everyday."

He wiped his tears away and finished by saying...

"I'm sorry, I didnt see any women with claws wearing face paint....but I saw a lot of dead men. Is this what people think happened? Because it isnt."

I patted him on the head and simply told him...

"You're uneducated."

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…………………...„„-~^^~„-„„_
………………„-^*'' : : „'' : : : : *-„
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./ . . . . . . . . / . . . . . . .'|
'/ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .'|
'| . . . . . \ . . . . . . . . . .|
THIS PILLAR OF FRIENDSHIP MEANS YOU ARE A TRUE FRIEND, REPOST THIS ON 10 OTHER FRIEND'S WALLS AND IF YOU GET 5 BACK YOUR A TRUE FRIEND

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Have you commit dead?

You're ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.able.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. stands for: "Friends U Can Keep".

Send this to 69 people and see who ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.s you back.

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Holy Montezuma's revenge!

assu my fuggin ni🅱️🅱️a!👋today is mai birthday! 😀🎂 but just know dat if u diss mai b-day celebration then ur getting knocked tf out 👊👊👊👊👊🤕 and murdered 🔨🗡⚔💉💊💣💥🔥⚰ idgaf if yo my ni🅱️🅱️a or some faceless mofugga!

My Flintlock is My Friend

- I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended.
- Four ruffians break into my house.
- "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle.
- Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man. He's dead on the spot.
- Draw my pistol on the second man. Misses him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbor's dog.
- I have to resort to the cannon at the top of the stairs loaded with grapeshot.
- "Tally ho, lads." The grapeshot shreds two men in the blast. The sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms.
- Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion.
- He bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are difficult to stitch-up.
- Just as the founding fathers intended. 🇺🇸

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis.. 3 hours after contact I noticed 2 vans park on my street but no one has entered or exited the vehicles since their arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out. If I don't update this again please send help.............

The👏first👏♥♥♥♥♥♥♥👏time👏I👏hear👂someone🙇say🗣️the n word✊🏾and yo white👴🏻 just know ur getting knocked👊🏾tf out. I don’t play🕹️that ♥♥♥♥ and it’s not okay🆗. Think🤔hard about what u say🗣around me⚠️. Idgaf who u are👴👴🏻👴🏼👴🏽👴🏾👴🏿. Watch👀what tf u say🗣around proud 👨🏿 ni🅱️🅱️as.

Suck my ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥.

That was lovely homeboi

SORRY NI🅱️🅱️A BUT I'M DELETING YOU FROM MY LIFE! *clicks delete* LOADING... ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ 99%. ERROR! It is impossible to delete our friendship. You mean so much to me. Post this to 10 people's walls who you never want to lose.

Woah

Hello, my friend, this is an administrator of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥™. We have noticed you haven't logged in for 2 weeks and we're just checking to see if everything is alright with our biggest supporter. Since the last time you visited us we've updated the Gay Midget section with many new videos we know you will enjoy. See you soon! ©♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. All rights reserved 2018.

Wat boi

Happy ♥♥♥♥♥♥ hunting season.

heylo am 52 year man from czech sorry for bed engrand i selled my wife for internet connect for play "tim fotress" and i want to play the goodest play like you i play with 450 ping on mexico sever and i cumpetive rank 2 i want too play on comp wit yu if i get 100 bitcoin pls no coky pasterio my story

hmmmmmmmmmm

Wrong, I adopted you

Ha, what are you a V A C U U M ?

I'll suck your coke.

♥♥♥♥♥

We regret to inform you that your Credit Card titled "Mom's Visa" has been declinded, any of your latest purchases will not be processed due to suspicous activities. To unlock your card for further use, please confirm your recent purchases and total cost with your local bank. The listing follows
- 2x Monster Horse Dildo (12') $89.99
- 2x Ultra HD Backdoor Sluts 9 $12.99
- 11x Magnum condoms (Extra-Small) $24.45
- 5x Bananas $7.00
- 5x Cucumbers $4.00
- 1x FeelsLikeBlood Lube Bottle 750ml $19.99
- 1x Next day shipping $50.00
- 1x Frequent Shopper Discount (25%)

Please respond back to us using your old email: I_Love_Black_Cock@hotmail.com. Thank you for your patience.

fat

Happy ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ birthday!

Suck muh dic ♥♥♥♥♥.

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