GenericAhegao
Fritz   United States
 
 
Koalas are ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognize it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behavior to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, ♥♥♥♥ and occasionally scream like ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrovascular fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hate them.
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LittleSalty 12 Sep @ 7:27pm 
This man is like Epstein pre-allegations. You know some shady ♥♥♥♥ is going on, you know that there are too many people in his cabal for him to just be "normal" but you also cant really do anything about it to outcast him yet.... In all, I do not nut in this mans soup
dashoebrewing 12 Sep @ 7:12pm 
This man has changed my life. I would argue for the worse, he would argue for the better. However none can argue that the corrupting power of the Warthunder snail has grasped me, and his greatest acolyte, this man, aided it in doing so.
Catnip 24 Apr @ 5:18pm 
Every day, he strays further from God.
//SpaceCadet 20 Mar @ 2:28pm 
Brother
Herobrine81903 12 Mar @ 9:24pm 
-rep pushing me further into insanity
Shack 18 Sep, 2023 @ 6:36pm 
mate?