All the cool people have these for their "friends" to follow, and now so do I. Are you ready kids? No? Well too bad. Let's get started:

1. You must be very cool.
2. You must have a Mensa IQ of 160 or higher. Brainlets don't interact.
3. You must send me a bi-monthly tribute in the form of your spiciest memes. Various formats accepted.
7. Some rules have been omitted.
9. Never insult my taste in music. There won't be any consequences, I'll just feel immensely hurt by your criticism.
10. Never invite me to play CSGO. Ever. If you do, know that I will find you, I will go to your house, and I will kindly ask you to never do so again while trying very hard to stifle my tears, because it makes me slightly upsetti.
11. I'm always right. The only times I'm not right is when I specifically say so, thus being right in that too.
12. Hot > cold. If you argue otherwise, I shall consider you a fool, assuming I already don't.
16. I am not Foxy.
17. Foxy is dead.
18. Foxy is not coming back to life ever.
19. In the event that Foxy comes back to life, I am still to be considered the superior furphag, and at all times retain the ability to send him back to Hell.
20. Thinking of a lot of rules is hard, so consider this one a blank space! Hell, you can even add your own rule here! Isn't that coolio!?*
20.5. *I am not actually obligated to follow and/or enforce whatever rule you decide to put there.
23. Bowl first, then milk, then cereal.
24. Full bathrooms with toilets included are indisputably superior. Toilet/bath/shower separatists don't @ me.
25. Unless I know you from somewhere else, chances are I'll just ignore whatever friend requests you send me.
26. If you MUST insist on adding me as a friend, be a dear and tell me who you are and why you're adding me in advance.
27. If the reason is to play games together, do note that I'm really busy these days and/or simply lack the effort to play with people I barely know. If we get to know each other for a while first though, then sure, I'm game.
30. COMMAND THE DOG.
31. SNIFF THE ENEMY.
32. Talking positively about de_dust2 or The Longest Yard will not be tolerated.
33. Those who call Doom or Quake 3 Arena maps by codes instead of their actual names will be shamed repeatedly until they denounce their wicked ways.
34. I wear the cape, I get to make the swooshing noises!
69. Nice.
71. Rules are great and all, but you know what really *RULES*? RAID SHADOW LEGENDS! Raid Shadow Legends is one of the most ambitious RPG projects of 2019, with over 10 MILLION downloads from the app store, just in the first 3 months! With amazing graphics and a fully voiced story line, Raid Shadow Legends is the game that will change everything you thought you knew about mobile gaming. Just look at the level of detail of these characters! If you use the code /TheyAreKeepingMeHostagePleaseSendHelp while downloading, you can start with 50,000 silver and join the Special Launch Tournament, and you better hurry because it's getting big fast! You can play for totally free with the link below on your smarphone and/or PC.
74. You must be ready for the Oc-train. If you are not ready, get ready.
75. You must stare directly at the googly eyes.
76. If the previous rule confuses you and there are no googly eyes to be stared at, then you still have time.
77. Pancakes are not strictly a "morning" food, they can and will be eaten by me at any point in time I desire to, any and all objections to this are unacceptable.
80. Horde is best. If you prefer Alliance, just leave. I will not waste breath arguing with your filthy kind.
238. You must follow all the currently present rules as well as the rules that are yet to come.
239. If you don't, I will block you, report you, and personally call your mother to tell her what a ♥♥♥♥ child you've turned out to be.**
240. **That*** rule is a joke. I won't actually do that.
241. ***All**** of these rules are jokes. I honestly couldn't care less if you actually bother to follow them or even read them.
242. ****Well, not ALL of them. As for which one's are real - let's keep it a mystery.*****
243. *****This rule is not a joke.

MORE 100% REAL RULES TO COME, SO STAY TUNED!
Or, like, don't. I don't care.