Recent reviews by FrootSauce

Rage? Yes
Friends? Maybe not so much
Stuck? Man, nothing about these characters are ever stuck. If anything, it doesn't seem like they are ever able to STOP ♥♥♥ MOVING. They are always jumping and moving in whatever direction is the furthest away from ending the game. You can't get stuck, it's physically impossible for these guys unless you yourself pause or exit the game... And no, the most reliable mechanic in this game is the saving, you can't exit and hope to get back to where you were before you messed up for the 511th time at the same exact spot thinking that you've finally figured it out.. Not that I've tried it or anything, I'm just guessing that that must be what it's like for the ones that struggle with the game...

So anyways, I beat the game pretty fast. I really, really liked the ending where the character fell down a bunch of times and then straight out my window, so realistic and emotional.

Things to keep in mind:
- First of all, you might want to upgrade your computer or lower the settings as soon as you get in. My PC sounds like a jet engine, but it hasn't caught on fire just yet.
- If your computer was engineered by NASA, feel free to skip the next two parts.
- If your computer exploded before you could reach the main menu, I'm very sorry.
- If your computer is mid at most, then please do lower the settings, if only by a little. Otherwise, you'll be running in slow motion while everything else is running at you, from you (or inside you..) faster than some super cars. You'll also be wondering why your character takes forever to land after a light jump.
- When you're running around, you should climb and stay up high.
- Do not fall and break your legs.
- Try to land in the trash and avoid landing on asphalt, unless you want to become a part of it.
- Do not lose track of time, unless you want to hide or run for the entire night.
- Or if you want to spend the night standing completely still out in the open on top of a disfigured lamp post while looking down on your very eager admirers.
- Do not draw unnecessary attention to yourself, like hitting a red gas canister or walking up to a group of people mugging a random dude that you don't know, who's constantly making weird and uncomfortable sounds.
- The former might give you a heart attack and the latter might put a dent in your head.
- Either way, both will end up with you drenched in red, the difference being only the smell I would imagine.
- Put random challengers in their place by racing them across rooftops.
- Again, do not fall.
- Chances are that you might become the one who admires others, or someone's meal.
- Remember to always aim for the head (obviously).
- This isn't Dark Souls, but " Praise The Sun! " and " Try Parrying ", and drop kick your enemies off the roof.
- Also, even if you are a chicken, " Try Stealth " inside of houses and " Good Luck " avoiding the ones allergic to the sun.
- On that note, no this isn't " I Am Legend " either, but the infected still scare the sh*t out of you.
- I don't want to spoil anything, but so far the hardest part has been " Meeting the people of the Bazaar ". (If they haven't changed it, then just walk away from the mission area if you feel like you've talked to everyone, was stuck for over 30 minutes myself.)

I've only played for a little while so I don't really know how I feel, but there might be a great game ahead. Therefore, try buying.

When Humble Bundle said they were going to "upgrade" their choice sub I got really excited, but this is a little underwhelming. You got it together with a lot of other interesting games such as "Black book" and "Everhood" so I guess it's fine, but I don't really care much for Borderlands even if I now own all the games. Humble usually gives you 9+ games each and every month with their sub so I find it a bit weird that "BORDERLANDS 3: DIRECTOR'S CUT" was included as one of those games when it's actually a minor DLC for the game.

Well, I might play it further down the line when I decide to play the other games so I guess this is alright.

I see. So you either close the window early on, or have your keyboard flying out the window later. Now, how do I close my game? I can't tab out or pause and my ALT and F4 keys are out in the rain...

"This looks like a fun and relaxing game, guess I'll try it out."
Yes, the game is very relaxing and extremely fun, but there is no "trying" Stardew Valley. Should you buy this game, then you best believe that you're going to spend at least 40-100+ hours playing it the first time around. It's not a waste of time, not at all. Call it an investment of your time. When it comes to this game, "like" is synonymous to "addicted". So telling others that you "like" the game is the same thing as hiding your addiction (so just accept it for what it is). Stardew Valley is also synonymous to "productiveness". No, it's actually the very definition of productivity, since you're going to wish you were as productive in real life as you are in-game.

~~ It starts with making your own character, choosing the farm that you think looks the best or most fun and also picking your companion pet. I'm not going to spoil you on what "Favorite Thing" is about.

During the first few days of Stardew, I pretty much spent my time cleaning up the front yard of the farm. I just couldn't stand the sight of all that clutter and foliage on the ground and repeatedly getting stuck between twigs and rocks was surprisingly infuriating. Lewis, the Mayor of the town, had given me 15 parsnip seeds on my first day to help me with starting my farm. But "cleaning" took a lot more energy out of my character than I expected. I found it to be quite enjoyable breaking all of those rocks, cutting down the trees and mowing the grass, since it felt like I was actually cleaning for once.
It wasn't until later that I would regret not starting with the farm earlier, since that would have meant getting more income in the earlier stages of the game. That's the thing with these types of games though. You are always going to regret making some of your decisions, whether it's buying the wrong types of crops or planting too many crops and wasting all your energy watering those crops each and every morning. Or you can be like me and do both of those examples at once on top of planting your crops way too late into the season.

Anyways, I obviously got the materials for cleaning the farm, but it's not like I knew what to do with it. I ended up just making a few chests, changed their individual colors and then I began organizing everything that I had gathered. Which was basically just plant fiber, twigs, stones and then the occasional clay that I accidentally got from using the wrong tools on the wrong things. After that, I finally decided I would head into town to try and interact with as many people as possible in one day. I kept getting handwritten mail from characters I had yet to actually meet each and every morning, so naturally I became more and more curious of the town and less interested in cleaning. It took me around 3-4 days before I began to explore, but my farm was basically clear of anything that I might get stuck on further down the line so I didn't really feel like I wasted any time.
I began my exploration quest with going into random buildings and interacting with every person I saw. Gus, the owner of "The Stardrop Saloon". Alex, his sweet grandmother, Evelyn and his very friendly Grandpa, George that I gave a Dandelion to because I was curious as to what would happen if I gave someone a gift. “This is probably the worst gift I've ever seen. Thanks a lot.”
No, thank you George for that lovely comment.

I also talked to Pierre, the owner of the general store and his wife (Caroline) and daughter (Abigail). This was also when I used the starting money to buy more crop seeds, tulips and parsnips because "why not" I remember thinking to myself... I then decided to head down south to look for this "Willy" guy that said he was waiting near the beach or something. On the way there I noticed a trash can that I for some reason decided to try and interact with. I then learned something very interesting. Interacting with a trash can is the same as "searching" the trash can and that naturally grosses people out. This is how I met a girl by the name of Haley. She just kind of stood there staring at me while I was digging through the trash, and I was staring back at her. Since it worked so beautifully before, I decided to give her a gift as well because I didn't know if people would start to hate you for doing, well, what I did. I would like to say that I "learned from my mistakes", but that wasn't the case at all, I can't even say that as a joke. Yes, you probably guessed it right, I gave her a Dandelion, thinking that "She can't possibly hate them as much as George does right?"

“Ugh...that's such a stupid gift.”

Thinking "Haley must be related to George", I reluctantly went down to the beach wondering if I should give Willy, the fisherman guy a Dandelion. As it turns out, I was to be the one on the receiving end. He gave me his rod and man, I never thought that such a simple fishing Minigame could be so fun. I stood there for the rest of the day, wasting away on my character's energy till I had no more. "You feel sluggish from over-exertion." It was the first time I was staying up past 12 in-game and my character was walking slower than ever before. I already knew beforehand that your character faints after 2 am, but the only way to make it back to bed in time would be to eat one of the fishes I had caught to regain my stamina. But I wasn't going to break, bend the knee to a fish and eat it raw like Gollum. I was going to sell them all no matter what. So yeah, I just fainted and sold them all the next day at the cost of some extra energy. Probably wasn't worth it, but I did get a few extra pennies that I wasted on buying more seeds. I should've saved up for a better fishing rod...

So anyways, good game.

It gets harder and harder the more you play. I beat it fairly quick and lost multiple times. As for the game I would say that it was pretty good, but you should buy it when it goes on sale.

The game wasn't cheap, I was...

- Travel abroad by plane with your son Timmy
- Crash
- Wake up to your son being kidnapped by a naked guy I didn't see anything
- Wake up, with whiplash
- Loot everything you see
- Eat all the somehow unscathed plane food you see
- Grab some sort of passenger list
- Forget about it
- Find some drugs
- Use the drugs
- See the axe that's stuck inside the flight attendant
- Pull out the axe (the way King Arthur would have done it)
- Jump out the back of the plane and break open some suitcases
- Start cutting some trees
- Realize that you're the hulk by carrying two logs at once
- Open the oh, so handy survival book that you just so happen to have
- Start building a log cabin
- Realize that it's going to take forever to build it
- Abandon the building site
- Find a new site and start building a new, smaller house
- Continue cutting trees for the rest of the day
- Hear weird noises during the night
- Rustling in the bushes, someone laughing
- Take a closer look
- See the naked man
- The naked man sees you
- The naked man runs at you
- Regret your decision
- Panic
- Run, fast
- Faster
- Eat, replenish your stamina
- Climb, the mountain
- Jump, into a lake
- Swim
- Swim
- Swim till daylight
- Run back to camp
- Change pants Calm down
- Go back to building, defense
- Remember that you have a son Decide that you want to live

10/10 Would forget about Timmy again

All you do is run, open doors and cheese mobs. They had to make 3 different games of it so it's basically Dark Souls. Except you don't fight, the doors actually open from both sides and almost every room houses a boss that wants to kill you.

Very realistic actually, got to experiment and see what it's like to have fire blowing out the side of my PC case after colliding a bunch of galaxies together and repeatedly shooting asteroids towards earth. The smell was interesting and a few strands of leg hair caught on fire, but I don't mind a bit of heat so that's fine. Although I would like to say that I have just one tiny little qualm about the game and that is the fact that I have to write this review on my phone. I prefer writing on a PC.

8/10 Would like to try again if possible, for longer next time :)