Playstation: EvaPilot1 [my.playstation.com]
Xbox: EvaPilot1 [account.xbox.com]
Nintendo: EvaPilot1
Twitch: EvaPilot1 [www.twitch.tv]

GOG: EvaPilot1 [www.gog.com] - ADD ME
HLTB: EvaPilot1 [howlongtobeat.com]
Glitchwave: EvaPilot1 [glitchwave.com]
Retroachievements: EvaPilot [retroachievements.org]

My Anime List: EvaPilot1 [myanimelist.net]
Letterboxd: EvaPilot1 [letterboxd.com]
Tumblr: EvaPilot1 [evapilot1.tumblr.com]
Instagram: EvaPilot1 [www.instagram.com]
Blog: https://evapilot.wordpress.com/

Discord: EvaPilot1 [discordapp.com]
https://vaughn.live/erobtv

I am invisible. People who complain about not having friends usually have some social media presence. Post a picture and 30 people come out of the woodwork to heart it, they might even get some unwanted messages "you look so hot babe" or whatever. That sounds annoying as ♥♥♥♥. Thank god I don't have that problem. Nothing I do matters to anyone, nor do I feel it has consequences.

If I died tonight, I would get a message on Monday afternoon asking why I'm not working. My family will come to my funeral, and nobody will have anything to say. The celebrant will need to read a generic eulogy, I'll be cremated so nothing is left and everyone will go home mildly inconvenienced.

I used to think I was happy with things like that. I used to think that if there was just 1 person I could share my life with, it didn't matter what people think or do not think about me, in fact, it would probably make me happiest if I was just left in peace.

I've come to realise that for the person I share my life with, it is a living nightmare. I cannot get myself out of bed in the morning, let alone provide, and I cannot keep them happy. My presence alone stunts growth and I sap energy and happiness wherever I go, I cannot abide to be in the same room as you or your friends. I am not -good- for anyone, at best I'm a chain around your neck. My continued existence is a pain I don't want to afflict on people around me. All 30 of those friends are more worthy than I will ever be.

People use me because I am agreeable. People think that they are my friend just because I'm nice to them, I respect that and I give it my all to show how much I appreciate that, but not one person cares about who I am as a person. Not my hobbies and aspirations, my wants or needs, my values or struggles, nobody cares, not even people who call themselves my friend.