ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴏᴜɴᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ʙɪᴛᴄʜ, ʙɪᴛᴄʜ
ꜱʜᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴜᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ
ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜰᴀɴꜱ ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴀᴛᴇʀꜱ
ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴᴇ?
ꜰᴜᴄᴋ, ʏᴏᴜʀ ʙᴇᴀʀᴅ'ꜱ ᴡᴇɪʀᴅ
ᴀʟʀɪɢʜᴛ
ʏᴏᴜ ʏᴇʟʟɪɴ' ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪᴄ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇɪʀᴅ ʙᴇᴀʀᴅ
ᴡᴇ ᴅᴏɪɴ' ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴏɴᴄᴇ
ʏᴏᴜʀ ʙᴇᴀʀᴅ'ꜱ ᴡᴇɪʀᴅ, ᴡʜʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʏᴇʟʟɪɴ' ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪᴄ?
ʀɪʜᴀɴɴᴀ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ʜɪᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴏɴ ᴀ ᴛᴇxᴛ
ʟᴀꜱᴛ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ɪ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ʜɪᴄᴋᴇʏꜱ ᴏɴ ʜᴇʀ ɴᴇᴄᴋ
ᴡᴀɪᴛ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴅɪꜱꜱᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ? ɪ'ᴍ ᴘᴇʀᴘʟᴇxᴇᴅ
ɪɴꜱᴜʟᴛ ᴍᴇ ɪɴ ᴀ ʟɪɴᴇ, ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟɪᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇxᴛ, ᴅᴀᴍɴ
ɪ'ᴍ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ꜱᴏʀʀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ᴀᴛᴛᴀᴄᴋ
ᴡᴀꜱ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴ' 8 ᴍɪʟᴇ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ɴᴏʀᴅɪᴄᴛʀᴀᴄᴋ
ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴢᴇᴅ ɪ ꜰᴏʀɢᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴀᴄᴋ
ʜᴇʀᴇ'ꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴀᴜᴛᴏɢʀᴀᴘʜ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴀᴜɢʜᴛᴇʀ, ɪ ᴡʀᴏᴛᴇ ɪᴛ ᴏɴ ᴀ ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛᴇʀ ᴄᴀᴘ
ꜱᴛᴀɴ, ꜱᴛᴀɴ, ꜱᴏɴ, ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴ, ᴍᴀɴ, ᴅᴀᴅ ɪꜱɴ'ᴛ ᴍᴀᴅ
ʙᴜᴛ ʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ɴᴀᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴀ ᴅᴀᴍɴ ɢᴜɴ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴍᴀɴ ʙᴜɴ?
ᴛʜᴇ ɢɪᴀɴᴛ'ꜱ ᴡᴏᴋᴇ, ᴇʏᴇꜱ ᴏᴘᴇɴ, ᴜɴᴅᴇɴɪᴀʙʟᴇ
ꜱᴜᴘᴘʟʏɪɴ' ꜱᴍᴏᴋᴇ, ɢᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰɪʀᴇ ꜱᴛᴏᴋᴇᴅ
ꜱᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏᴛ ᴍᴇ ɪɴ ᴀ ꜱᴄᴏᴘᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ɢʀᴀᴢᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ
ɪ ꜱᴀʏ ᴏɴᴇ ᴄᴀʟʟ ᴛᴏ ɪɴᴛᴇʀꜱᴄᴏᴘᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ꜱᴡᴀʏᴢᴇ
ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘʟʏ ɢᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʀᴏᴡᴅ ʏᴇʟʟɪɴɢ, "ᴡᴏᴏ"
ꜱᴏ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅɪᴇ ʟᴇᴛ'ꜱ ꜱᴇᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ᴄᴀɴ ᴏᴜᴛ-ᴘᴇᴛᴛʏ ᴡʜᴏ
ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄᴏʀɴʏ ʟɪɴᴇꜱ (ꜱʟɪᴍ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴏʟᴅ)
ᴏᴡ, ᴋᴇʟʟʏ, ᴏᴏʜ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ'ᴍ 45 ᴀɴᴅ ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴛɪʟʟ ᴏᴜᴛꜱᴇʟʟɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ
ʙʏ 29 ɪ ʜᴀᴅ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ ᴀʟʙᴜᴍꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀᴅ ʙʟᴇᴡ
ɴᴏᴡ ʟᴇᴛ'ꜱ ᴛᴀʟᴋ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴ' ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴅᴏ
ɢᴏ ɪɴ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ'ꜱ ᴅᴀᴜɢʜᴛᴇʀ'ꜱ ᴍᴏᴜᴛʜ ꜱᴛᴇᴀʟɪɴ' ꜰᴏᴏᴅ
ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴀ ꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴ' ᴍᴏʟᴇ ʜɪʟʟ, ɴᴏᴡ ɪ'ᴍᴀ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴍᴏᴜɴᴛᴀɪɴ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜ, ᴡᴏᴏ!
ʜᴏ, ᴄʜɪʟʟ, ᴀᴄᴛɪɴ' ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜʀᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀʀʀᴇʟ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ ʙᴏɴᴇ ᴍᴀʀʀᴏᴡ
ɢᴜɴɴᴇʀ? ʙɪᴛᴄʜ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɪɴ'ᴛ ᴀ ʙᴏᴡ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʀʀᴏᴡ
ꜱᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ'ʟʟ ʀᴜɴ ᴜᴘ ᴏɴ ᴍᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴘʜᴏɴᴇ ʙɪʟʟ, ꜱᴘʀᴀʏɪɴ' ʟᴇᴀᴅ
ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴ' ᴅᴇᴀᴅ, ᴛʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴏʟᴅ ꜱᴛɪʟʟ
ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴄᴇʀᴇᴀʟ, ᴏʀ ᴏᴀᴛᴍᴇᴀʟ?
ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴜᴄᴋ'ꜱ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏᴡʟ, ᴍɪʟᴋ? ᴡʜᴇᴀᴛɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴄʜᴇᴇʀɪᴏꜱ?
'ᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ɪ'ᴍ ᴛᴀᴋɪɴ' ᴀ ꜱʜɪᴛ ɪɴ 'ᴇᴍ, ᴋᴇʟʟʏ, ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴍᴀᴛᴇʀɪᴀʟ
ᴅɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴᴀʀʏ
ʏᴏ ꜱʟɪᴍ, ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜰᴏᴜʀ ᴀʟʙᴜᴍꜱ ꜱᴜᴄᴋᴇᴅ
ɢᴏ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴄᴏᴠᴇʀʏ, ᴏʜ ꜱʜᴏᴏᴛ, ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ ᴀʟʙᴜᴍꜱ ᴀɢᴏ
ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ? ᴏᴏᴘꜱ, ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜰᴀᴄᴛꜱ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴍᴇ, ʟɪʟ' ɢᴏᴏꜰ
ʟᴜxᴜʀʏ, ᴏʜ, ʏᴏᴜ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ, ʙɪᴛᴄʜ?
ʏᴇᴀʜ, ɪ ʜᴀᴅ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ ᴍᴏɴᴇʏ ɪɴ '02
ᴛᴏ ʙᴜʀɴ ɪᴛ ɪɴ ꜰʀᴏɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜ, ʜᴏ
ʏᴏᴜɴɢᴇʀ ᴍᴇ? ɴᴏ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴄᴋ ᴍᴇ
ɪᴛ'ꜱ ꜰᴜɴɴʏ, ʙᴜᴛ ꜱᴏ ᴛʀᴜᴇ
ɪ'ᴅ ʀᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ʙᴇ 80 ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴏʟᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴ 20 ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴏʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ
'ᴛɪʟ ɪ'ᴍ ʜɪᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴏʟᴅ ᴀɢᴇ, ꜱᴛɪʟʟ ᴄᴀɴ ꜰɪʟʟ ᴀ ᴡʜᴏʟᴇ ᴘᴀɢᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ 10 ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴏʟᴅ'ꜱ ʀᴀɢᴇ
ɢᴏᴛ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ꜰᴀɴꜱ ᴛʜᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴄɪᴛʏ, ʟɪʟ' ᴋɪᴅᴅʏ
ɢᴏ ᴘʟᴀʏ, ꜰᴇᴇʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪ'ᴍ ʙᴀʙʏꜱɪᴛᴛɪɴɢ ʟɪʟ ᴛᴀʏ
ɢᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅɪᴅᴅʏ ᴏᴋᴀʏ ꜱᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴘᴇɴᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴡʜᴏʟᴇ ᴅᴀʏ
ꜱʜᴏᴏᴛɪɴ' ᴀ ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴛᴏ ꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴ' ᴅɪɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ɢʀᴀᴠᴇ
ɢᴏᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴡᴀᴋᴇ, ɪ'ᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʙɪʟʟʏ ɢᴏᴀᴛ
ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɪɴ'ᴛ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴀ ʟɪꜱᴛ ɴᴇxᴛ ᴛᴏ ɴᴏ ʙɪɢɢɪᴇ, ɴᴏ ᴊᴀʏ
ɴᴇxᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴀʏʟᴏʀ ꜱᴡɪꜰᴛ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪɢɢʏ ʜᴏ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ʙʟᴏᴡ
ᴋᴇʟʟʏ, ᴛʜᴇʏ'ʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴘᴜᴛᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɴᴀᴍᴇ
ɴᴇxᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴊᴀ, ɴᴇxᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇɴᴢɪɴᴏ, ᴅɪᴇ, ᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀꜰᴜᴄᴋᴇʀ
ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀꜰᴜᴄᴋᴇʀ ꜱᴀʏɪɴ' ʜᴀɪʟᴇʏ ɪɴ ᴠᴀɪɴ
ᴀʟɪᴇɴ ʙʀᴀɪɴ, ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴀᴛᴀɴɪꜱᴛ (ʏᴇᴀʜ)
ᴍʏ ʙɪɢɢᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʟᴏᴘꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛᴇꜱᴛ ʜɪᴛꜱ
ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴀᴍᴇ'ꜱ ᴍɪɴᴇ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀɪɴ'ᴛ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴ' ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇᴅ ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴄᴋꜱ
ꜱᴏ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ɪ ꜱʟᴀʏ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʙɪᴛᴄʜ, ᴍᴡᴀʜ, ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴊᴀᴅᴇ ᴀ ᴋɪꜱꜱ
ɢᴏᴛᴛᴀ ᴡᴀᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ʟᴀʙᴏʀ ᴅᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪꜱ (ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴜᴄᴋ?)
ʙᴇɪɴ' ʀɪᴄʜ-ꜱʜᴀᴍᴇᴅ ʙʏ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴘʀɪᴄᴋ ᴜꜱɪɴ' ᴍʏ ɴᴀᴍᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴄʟɪᴄᴋʙᴀɪᴛ
ɪɴ ᴀ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴇ ᴏꜰ ʙʟɪꜱꜱ 'ᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ɪ ꜱᴀɪᴅ ʜɪꜱ ɢᴏᴅᴅᴀᴍɴ ɴᴀᴍᴇ
ɴᴏᴡ ɪ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴀ ᴄᴏᴄᴋ ʙᴀᴄᴋ, ᴀɪᴍ, ʏᴇᴀʜ, ʙɪᴛᴄʜ, ᴘᴏᴘ ᴄʜᴀᴍᴘᴀɢɴᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪꜱ
ɪᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴏᴍᴇɴᴛ, ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ɪᴛ
ᴀꜱ ʙɪɢ ᴀꜱ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ɢᴇᴛ, ꜱᴏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ɪᴛ
ʜᴀᴅ ᴛᴏ ɢɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀ ᴄᴀʀᴇᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇꜱᴛʀᴏʏ ɪᴛ
ʟᴇᴛʜᴀʟ ɪɴᴊᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴ, ɢᴏ ᴛᴏ ꜱʟᴇᴇᴘ ꜱɪx ꜰᴇᴇᴛ ᴅᴇᴇᴘ
ɪ'ʟʟ ɢɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀ ʙ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇꜰꜰᴏʀᴛ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪꜰ ɪ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ
ꜰᴏᴏᴛ 11, ʏᴏᴜ'ᴅ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴄᴏʀᴅ
ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ꜱᴜᴄᴋ ᴀ ᴅɪᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴ' ʙᴇ ᴍᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ꜱᴇᴄᴏɴᴅ
ʟɪᴄᴋ ᴀ ʙᴀʟʟꜱᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴄʜᴀɴɴᴇʟ
ɢɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟɪꜰᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴀꜱ ꜱᴏʟɪᴅɪꜰɪᴇᴅ
ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴍᴏᴛʜᴀꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴ' ꜱʜɪᴛ ɪꜱ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʀᴀᴍʙᴏ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʜᴇ'ꜱ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ʙᴜʟʟᴇᴛꜱ
ꜱᴏ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ɪꜱ ᴀ ꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴ' ᴍᴀᴄʜɪɴᴇ ɢᴜɴ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴀᴍᴍᴏ?
ʜᴀᴅ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴛᴀᴛᴛᴇᴅ-ᴜᴘ ᴍᴜᴍʙʟᴇ ʀᴀᴘᴘᴇʀ
ʜᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴜᴄᴋ ᴄᴀɴ ʜɪᴍ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ʙ�