A line of paint on the road holds more authority than I ever will
We say life is short but it's actually the longest thing we will ever witness
Your lips never touch when you say the word “together”, but they do when you say the word “apart”
If you fall asleep in a bathroom, then it really is a restroom
Nobody can say they’ve ever been in an empty room
Your room will never be exactly the same size After being painted
Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed
The objective of golf is to play as little of golf as humanly possible
The opposite of a waterfall is a firefly
When you are drinking a beer, the beer is getting drunk too
In "a part", "a" and "part" are "apart", but when "a" and "part" aren't apart, they become "apart"
You never stop clapping, the interval between claps are just different length
When you empty your vacuum, are you the vacuum cleaner?
If you get a bigger bed you will have more bedroom, but less bedroom
The best part of the cucumber tastes like the worst part of the watermelon
If 2 pregnant women fight, its 2 babies having a mecha fight
When you realize that lamps in video games use real electricity
We've all technically kicked a pregnant woman
Is sand called sand because it's between the sea and the land?
If you look into the mirror, you're actually seeing yourself in the past
If flies are called flies, shouldn’t spiders be called crawls?
We could all be seeing different colours, and there's no way to tell
When you realize “Dammit im mad” is the same backwards
If we wait for the waiter, aren't we the waiter?
When you realize the word ‘bed’ actually looks like a bed
Cheese is just a loaf of milk
The word "short" is longer than the word "long"
When you transport something by car it is called a shipment, and when you transport something by ship it is called cargo
We bake cookies but we cook bacon
Clapping is hitting yourself because you like something
If the Devil is evil, then why does he torture the bad people?
Dreams are just your body's screensaver
b, p, q, and d are the same letter
Can a person in a wheelchair become a stand-up comedian?
Why does a computer freeze when it overheats?
Tetris is a game where you destroy blocks by building them
You've never actually seen yourself in person
If time is money, is a ATM a time machine?
If a midget smokes weed, do they get high or medium?
Pinocchio is an infinite source of wood
If there's an earthquake on Mars, is it still an earthquake or a Marsquake?
Arms for your chairs are just chairs for your arms
Every guy in the friendzone technically has a girl friend
If tomatoes are fruits, would this make ketchup smoothies?