Eric
"You know Opelt, 'sitting on a piece of gum' is the least sexy way of showing your balls to someone."

Opelt
"haha yes bleed more ill bend over and lick it up because i'm a vampire" <--- did not realize we were talking about menstruation at the time
"Too late, my sphincter is locking up."
"Gale what is this horrible creature you've summoned on my computer? My grandma would think the devil was coming."
"I'm not harassing you, im motorboating your big fat cat t**ddies."
"damn, with a d**k like that you could call it a ginger- breed if you know what im sayin'."

Chandler
"Ah yes, time to see the hotness that is Martha May Who~"

Fish
"I can't tell if the lights are flickering or if im blinking."
"The only honor guests have here is dying by the spear."

Maddie
"BEHOLD! THE THEY/THEM P**SY OF ELD!"