In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the *new*. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations. The new needs friends. Last night, I experienced something new: an extraordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source. To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my preconceptions about fine cooking is a gross understatement. They have rocked me to my core. In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau's famous motto, "Anyone can cook." But I realize, only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist; but a great artist *can* come from *anywhere*. It is difficult to imagine more humble origins than those of the genius now cooking at Gusteau's, who is, in this critic's opinion, nothing less than the finest chef in France. I will be returning to Gusteau's soon, hungry for more.

Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, the king and queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. And throughout the land, everyone was happy... until the sun went down and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment that took hold each and every night.
Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother who had them lock the young princess away in a tower, there to await the kiss... of the handsome Prince Charming. It was he who would chance the perilous journey through blistering cold and scorching desert traveling for many days and nights, risking life and limb to reach the Dragon's keep.
[crows caw]
For he was the bravest, and most handsome... in all the land. And it was destiny that his kiss would break the dreaded curse. He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower to enter the princess's chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette, pull back the gossamer curtains to find her... [gasps]
What?
- Princess... Fiona?
- No!
[sighs relief] Oh, thank heavens. Where is she?
- She's on her honeymoon.
- Honeymoon? With whom?
- She's on her honeymoon.
- Honeymoon? With whom?

GAME LIST OF GOAT GAMES
Dragon Quest IX (One of the best JRPGs I have ever played, I carry a lot of nostalgia for it as well. Played through it multiple times and currently trying to complete every quest.)
Terraria (Vanilla Playthroughs: 8, Modded Playthroughs: 5)
TF2 (Before ♥♥♥♥ MYM update) (Update: After Blue Moon Update) (Update 2: burnt out)
Overwatch [Citation needed]
Pokémon Platinum (First Pokémon game I played, but also one of the most polished, with fantastic music)
Legend of Zelda Wind Waker
Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess
Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Blue Rescue Team (First game to make me cry like a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ idiot)
Super Mario Galaxy (Because Rosalina is most best)
Undertale
Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Binding of Isaac: Rebirth
Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate
Resident Evil 4
Unturned (lol yeah)
Stardew Valley
Doki Doki Literature Club (Epic choice and I played it before Game Theory pissed on it)
Crypt of the Necrodancer
Age of Empires 2
Half Life 2 (Every Episode is good, but order is 1: HL2, 2: Episode 2, 3: Episode 1)
Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword (First Zelda game I ever played fully so it will always be dear to me)
Just put the whole Zelda franchise here, might as well
Pokémon HGSS
Minecraft (With mods)
Hatsune Miku: Project Diva/Mirai
Kid Icarus: Uprising
Super Smash Bros 3DS/WiiU
Tomodachi Life
Pokémon main series games gen 3-6
DRAGON QUEST 11 BEST GAME EVERR (Written just after i beat it lol)
Monster Hunter Generations Ultimate
Katamari Damacy (?)
Xenoblade Chronicles
Risk of Rain 2
Sekiro
Kunitsu-gami: Path of the Goddess