Conker's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2016 @ 10:45pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2016 @ 11:22am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2016 @ 4:21pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2016 @ 11:15am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2016 @ 11:14pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2016 @ 11:29am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2016 @ 4:40pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 16 Mar, 2016 @ 5:07pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 17 Mar, 2016 @ 5:42pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 19 Mar, 2016 @ 11:38pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 20 Mar, 2016 @ 12:50am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2016 @ 4:48pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2016 @ 5:10pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 22 Mar, 2016 @ 9:15pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 16 Mar, 2016 @ 4:58pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2016 @ 4:20pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2016 @ 4:23pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 17 Mar, 2016 @ 12:46pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 14 Mar, 2016 @ 1:31pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 14 Mar, 2016 @ 1:21pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 14 Mar, 2016 @ 1:09am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 14 Mar, 2016 @ 12:54am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 15 Mar, 2016 @ 11:17pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 20 Mar, 2016 @ 12:21am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 15 Mar, 2016 @ 11:31pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2016 @ 4:21pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 16 Mar, 2016 @ 5:05pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2016 @ 4:08pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 14 Mar, 2016 @ 12:54am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 17 Mar, 2016 @ 6:09pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 22 Mar, 2016 @ 9:09pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2016 @ 10:51pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2016 @ 11:16pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2016 @ 5:00pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2016 @ 10:42pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2016 @ 11:10am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2016 @ 10:43pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2016 @ 11:16am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 14 Mar, 2016 @ 1:06am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 13 Mar, 2016 @ 4:56pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 21 Mar, 2016 @ 8:11pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 30 Apr, 2016 @ 4:01pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 14 Mar, 2016 @ 1:22am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 20 Mar, 2016 @ 12:51am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 16 Mar, 2016 @ 5:06pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

9 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

8 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30