Recent reviews by Colonel Falafel

Gone Home is a wholly unique game. It tackles the sort of deeply emotional, personal story gaming needs to explore more of, and does so through the exploration and discovery only possible in an interactive medium.

If you think gaming needs better stories better told, play it. If you think gaming needs emotional beats that delve beyond just wringing emotion from cheap deaths, play it. Hell, if you like the medium, just play it.

It's a typing game about food. No, wait, it's a food game about typing.

It's Typing of the Dead without the zombies, but with more hamburgers, steaks, lobsters, and cilantro. OK, there's no cilantro. But there's anchovies. And when someone wants them on a pizza, you have to oblige no matter how much it hurts.

It's frantic. You're juggling multiple orders while new ones keep coming in in a roughshod attempt to get them all in perfect order. A maintained combo means better pay at the end of the day. Rewards await those who pull off the perfect day. Juggle a menu between highly complicated dishes with expensive prices and easier ones that don't quite make as much. Customize your menu to match the requirements for, and then beat the pants off of, the daily bet. Compete in Iron Che—I mean Cook. Iron Cook, yes—challenges. Grow from a meager hole-in-the-wall diner to a five star establishment, complete with whiny, needy celebrities to indulge!

Try to keep up. You won't. You'll try, but you won't. And then, one day, you will. It will be glorious. And all the while you'll have one hell of a time.

Oh, you think you're good at games?

You're not.

It has RoboCop's gun.

You won't fall asleep watching these dogs. The guys at United Front Games were wide awake in this united effort of open world design. From brutal melee fights, to frantic street racing, this game is one dog-gone good time I canine't wait to return to.