Recent reviews by Chapladeen

Nothing quite like the rush from asking someone to play Russian roulette and giving them a fully loaded revolver.

... Especially when they put it to their head without looking

I haven't played much but enjoying so far

Here is my experience of DayZ in a few situations

>Big fan of DayZ in Arma 2
>Boarded the hype train for initial release and spent £22 of my hard earned cash
>Didn't play the game for ages because of bad reviews
>Finally installed it
>Join a server with "High Loot" and a low population to see what it is like
>Spawn in the middle of nowhere and it is raining
>Finally find a village that is fairly sizable
>After 15 minutes of looting I am fully kitted out with a bright blue child's backpack and some seeds
>Hungry, Thirsty and freezing
>Continue to run North to find the airfield like I always did in Arma 2 and have to stop in several towns along the way
>Dying of Starvation and thirst
>Finally find a waterbottle and some beans
>Drink the water
>Can't find a can opener so I continue to go hungry
>Find some water purification tablets and decide to use them
>Go to a small lake and refill my bottle
>Press G by habit to access my gear
>Bottle sails into the lake and disappears
>Spend 5 minutes trying to find it
>Give up and continue running
>Find a military base
>No loot except for some terrible scope and a can opener
>Open my delicious beans and eat all of them
>No longer hungry
>5 minutes later and I am dying of starvation again
>Becomes Hypothermic from being forced to run everywhere in freezing weather in order to survive
>Fall unconscious
>"You are dead"
>Didn't see a single zombie or player

Attempt No.2

>Spawn again
>Running through a town and looting every building as I go
>Get chased by a zombie for a solid 10 minutes and not able to outrun him
>Decide to run up a hill
>Character begins a casual stroll
>Zombie gives no f*cks and runs up behind me
>Sh*t a brick as the sound of being punched almost breaks my headset
>Instantly bleeding
>Being chased for another 10 minutes before I find another town and lock him in a building
>Find a pistol but no ammo
>Dying of starvation of thirst (again)
>After another 15 minutes I find some pistol ammo inside of a car
>Excited af
>Load my pistol and smile as I place the gun to my temple
>Pull the trigger
>Gun jams
>Decide this is a sign from god and to keep going
>Stand up
>Takes rifle round to face from unknown location
>"You are dead"

Attempt No.3

>Finally starting to have a spawn go my way
>Fully geared with an AK and a few magazines full of ammo
>Enough food and water to last me at least 10 minutes
>Get to a small town and I find a freshspawn who is looting
>Decide to ignore him
>30 seconds later he cracks off a couple of shots at me
>holysh*t
>I spin around and fire back at him, realising he has ran out of ammo
>Keeps shooting
>He zig zags and dodges every single bullet like Neo out of the Matrix
>Runs up to me and punches me once in the face
>No motorcycle helmet
>"You are unconscious"
>Wake up to him standing over me with my AK pointed at my head
>"You are dead"

Attempt No.4

>I am up at NW airfield with only a pistol and one magazine
>Looting one of the tents at the back
>Find a grenade
>As excited as a kid in a toy store
>Decide to go and find someone to show my new toy
>Spend 20 minutes looking for someone
>Find a player who is AFK in a building
>F*ck yes
>I throw the grenade at him and book it down the stairs
>Nothing happens
>???
>I go back upstairs and the grenade is still on the floor
>Forgot to pull the pin
>A bit of a weird mechanic but hey ho
>I pull the pin and throw the grenade
>Instead of flying across the room it drops at my feet
>Ohf*ck
>I run towards the stairs but get stuck on a cupboard
>"You are dead"

Attempt No.5

>Finally getting tired of dying to stupid sh*t and bugs
>Spawn near Berezino and run to it
>Find a group of 6 players who are all speaking Russian
>I run out and try to be friendly
>Am no threat with no gear so assumed they wouldnt shoot me
>How wrong I was
>They fired at me with enough suppressing fire to make any American proud
>Miraciously not hurt
>F*ck it
>I do what Neo once did to me and zig zag towards them
>None of them are wearing motorcycle helmets
>I punch the first one in the face and he falls down like a sack of ♥♥♥♥
>Rinse and repeat
>Manage to somehow knock all of them out
>Pick up a gun and begin to execute all of them
>Fresh spawn has heard all of the gunshots and decides to see if he can get some gear
>Easy prey
>I raise my gun at him and pull the trigger
>Gun jams
>Ohf*ck
>He looks up at me with his brand new AK74
>He says something like "I f*cked your mom" in a thick Russian accent
>"You are dead"

>Decides to play Battle Royale and have some fun
>Game cannot handle that I have less than five friends but more than two
>Game tries futile attempt to find two players extra for ten or more minutes
>It gives up and joins us with 3 players anyway
>Spawns in pleasant valley
>Gets shot in the face by a guy with a shotgun while opening a door
>Rinse and repeat
>10/10 lobby simulator