Recent reviews by nihilistic angel

Ran into someone online named Wazzler. The Iron Man combo he did to me gave me enough time to go get dinner started for the family. 10/10

SteamVR is a colossal failure. As a tech and gaming deity, I can confidently say that this is one of the worst VR platforms out there. If you value your time, money, and sanity, stay far away from this trash. If you want a real VR experience, look elsewhere – somewhere that meets my god-tier standards.

"Thunder Ray" is an abomination. As a gaming deity, I decree that this game is not worth anyone’s time or money. If you value your sanity and have even a fraction of my impeccable taste and skill, you’ll avoid this trash like the plague. Seriously, go play anything else – your brain will thank you.

Final Fantasy IV, a supposed classic, is often hailed as a pioneering RPG, but let's be honest: it's more of a dusty relic than a timeless treasure.

1. Storyline Overload:
The storyline in Final Fantasy IV is like a soap opera on steroids. It’s packed with melodrama and absurd plot twists that make it hard to take seriously. From characters “dying” and miraculously coming back to life, to a villain with motivations as clear as mud, it feels like the game is trying too hard to be epic and falls flat on its face.

2. Character Carousel:
Final Fantasy IV boasts a revolving door of characters, but most of them are as deep as a kiddie pool. Cecil’s brooding journey from dark knight to paladin is supposed to be profound, but comes off as contrived and predictable. Other characters, like Edward and Yang, seem to pop in and out of the story with little rhyme or reason, making it hard to care about their fates.

3. Gameplay Grind:
If you love grinding, then Final Fantasy IV is your dream come true. Be prepared to spend countless hours battling the same enemies over and over just to stand a chance against the game’s bosses. The repetitive combat system gets old fast, and the random encounter rate is enough to drive anyone mad.

4. Dated Graphics and Sound:
Even for its time, Final Fantasy IV’s graphics were nothing to write home about. The character sprites look like they were designed in a hurry, and the environments are bland and uninspired. The music, while occasionally catchy, loops endlessly and can become grating after a while.

5. Overhyped Innovation:
Sure, Final Fantasy IV introduced the Active Time Battle system, but this so-called innovation quickly becomes a frustrating mess. Waiting for your turn while enemies pummel you isn’t exactly a thrilling gameplay mechanic. And let’s not forget the overly complex and often nonsensical magic and ability system.

Conclusion:
Final Fantasy IV might be revered by some, but it’s hard to see why. Its convoluted plot, shallow characters, tedious gameplay, and dated presentation make it more of a chore than a joy to play. If you’re looking for a truly great RPG, you’re better off skipping this one and diving into a game that’s aged more gracefully.

If you like 999 or Dang Grandpa, then you'll love this game!

"If poker is so good, why isn't there a poker 2?"

Balatro:

handcuffed the dealer, chugged a beer, smoked a cigarette, shot myself to death in front of him.
10/10.

Tom Clancy`s Juarez Doom Souls

If you’re looking for a game that makes you laugh—mostly out of frustration—look no further than Battletoads! It’s like the developers took a good idea, dropped it in a blender, and then threw the pieces into an active volcano.

First off, let’s talk about difficulty. The game clearly missed the memo about "fun challenges." Instead, it cranks the difficulty up to eleven and then laughs maniacally as you crash into walls like a blindfolded raccoon on roller skates. Seriously, I’m pretty sure that turbo bike level was designed by someone with a vendetta against joy.

And the graphics? They look like a vibrant fever dream that forgot to take its meds. One moment, you’re in a beautifully drawn scene, and the next, it’s like someone spilled paint everywhere and called it “art.” I half expected a character to pop out and say, “Surprise! You’re in an art project gone wrong!”

As for the story? Let’s just say it’s as memorable as a soggy piece of toast. I played through hours of this madness, and I’m still not sure what’s happening. Do the toads even have a goal? Is it just to make us suffer?

In conclusion, if you want a game that will have you questioning your life choices while simultaneously entertaining your friends with your epic fails, Battletoads is your ticket to hilarity! Just be prepared for a wild ride filled with rage and confusion. Grab a snack, because you’ll need it—if only to throw at the screen!

You get to beat up high school children and make them piss their pants for justice