1. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
2. Three can keep a secret, if two are dead.
3. Teamwork is vital! (It gives you someone to blame.)
4. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
5. The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
6. If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
7. Reality is for people who can't face science fiction.
8. Time is just nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
9. Disco is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art.
10. Be a better psychiatrist and the world will beat a psychopath to your door.
11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
12. If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
13. No amount of careful planning will ever replace dumb luck.
14. After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.
15. People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.
16. Entropy isn't what it used to be.
17. Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
18. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
19. Get a book man. Reading is fun-to-mental.
20. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
21. Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery.
22. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
23. A streak of common sense is all too rare, despite its name.
24. The expert is a person who avoids the small errors as he sweeps on to the grand fallacy.
25. A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
26. No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.
27. If it works, Don't fix it.
28. Ask not how the mind of the alien works, for alien it truly is.