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I sexually Identify as a furry. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of dressing in fursuits and towering over the children visiting this PG rated convention. People say to me that a person being a furry is disgusting and I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install cute fox ears with a fox tail to match on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Yiff Yiff" and respect my right to yiff other furries. If you can't accept me you're a furryphobe and need to check your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

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It's COOL to be gay!
Post this on the wall of a homosexual friend and tell them how COOL they are

Dis is Vladamir of the sekrit kommuniyst assosciation please donate some hammers and siyckles to the cause and you will be rewarded if you do not Dimitri and Vasiliy will come out from the shadows and make you a furry, hurry there is not much time. Hand over as many as you can in sixty minutes or you will be a furry no joke.
(Forgive bad engliysh I am KGB spy in Ameryca)

Your real dad ran away when you were born, just like a true black father, so i married your mother and Helped take care of you!

Best of luck to beating your stage 4 terminal lung cancer!