Recent reviews by Anuyushi

At the moment I can't recommend it if you don't have a superpowered PC. I really, really tried. You see that hour on my playtime? That was waiting for it to load the main menu. I never even got into the game. I have a strong PC, built for gaming even, and yet somehow this was the game to break it down? I'm dying to try this game out, I bought it full price to support it, and I can't even play it. Not that I can get to the menu to change any settings though. I don't know how high the graphics are but it's too much if it's "So high that even just loading the game makes it unplayable". I've never had this issue with a game before and I'm really puzzled what's causing such an issue. I want to play it, so I'll leave comments open and I'm open to changing this review if I can actually start the game.

I can't fix them and that's okay

Cringe but fun

Pretty fun. It's still new so enemies and locations is limited, but it's good for what it is. We've ran into glitches like videos not processing or shapes spawning into the floor, but nothing overly gamebreaking. I look forward to new content that can spice up the fear

Just a character creator, and not even a good one at that. Only thing you can do with them is some stage dance scene, and you can't even use any of the male characters you make for a DANCE, so it's entirely pointless making men. Only playable after getting the overpriced DLC and extensive modding. Not worth the price, there's better games out there, this is just a cashgrab.

I'm a horror fan and I've played a lot of games from the genre. I thought I was numb to it, but even after 18 hours of playing and thinking I remembered all the scares, it still manages to get me and give me a rush that I rarely feel these days from horror games. It's refreshing, I forgot how much fun it was to feel afraid of a game and the replayability is great

This game makes me mad. Why? Because it's GOOD. There's an engaging story that surpasses a lot of media in the current day, and it's about a dong having a midlife crisis. It's so good that it makes me angry, and I want to post a review so it'll appear in my friend's feeds now to know I enjoyed the story of Genital Jousting.

I preordered this game and I go back and forth on if it was worth it.
For the story, I enjoy it. It's a short and silly story that follows up an episode we might've forgotten about.
It's nothing too special but it's not without its merits.

Fighting is decent. It's not too bad, but you can be easily swarmed and weapons are very limited and sometimes don't work at all. Wands don't do much of anything, and smacking only gets you so far when seven archers have you pinned to a wall. Fighting can get annoying if you're surrounded, and the AI players aren't the greatest.

The graphics are fine and they translated okay in a 3d space, there's not much to say and personally I don't mind them. They hold up okay and they're not too ugly.

The upgrading system is okay, if a little boring and repetitive.

My biggest gripe is the walk/run cycle. You walk super slow which is grating for massive maps with multiple fetch-quests. You can run, but your stamina drains fast. The running speed should just be the new walking speed.

I also ran into a glitch where in the middle of a match, my progress wiped. I was disconnected from the game and told to do the tutorial again. I had to cycle the entire tutorial once more. It saved my gold, but my hundreds of dark matter was abruptly gone. I went into matchmaking to finish the last stage of the game then uninstalled it. It wasn't the first glitch I ran into either. I often got force disconnected from public matchmaking, meaning I would need to find a new match and replay the entire round all over again. ESPECIALLY annoying if it was a fetch-quest-heavy one and/or you had good battle chemistry with your teammates.

Do I recommend it? Honestly, for a small time-killer, yeah I do. It has its moments and it's not going to destroy your wallet or ruin your day. But it's for the more dedicated fans that are okay overlooking the flaws for a good time with the cast again.
For non-fans, being South Park is the biggest thing holding it up because it wouldn't be able to stand without that fact. Wait for a sale or give it a skip if you're not a big fan. At least they have a bunch of free DLC.


---{ Graphics }---
☐ You forget what reality is
☐ Beautiful
☐ Good
☑ Decent
☐ Bad
☐ Don‘t look too long at it
☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---
☐ Very good
☐ Good
☐ It's just gameplay
☑ Mehh
☐ Watch paint dry instead
☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---
☐ Eargasm
☐ Very good
☐ Good
☑ Not too bad
☐ Bad
☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---
☐ Kids
☑ Teens
☑ Adults
☐ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☐ Potato
☑ Decent
☐ Fast
☐ Rich boi
☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Game Size }---
☐ Floppy Disk
☐ Old Fashioned
☑ Workable
☐ Big
☐ Will eat 10% of your 1TB hard drive
☐ You will want an entire hard drive to hold it
☐ You will need to invest in a black hole to hold all the data

---{ Difficulty }---
☐ Just press 'W'
☐ Easy
☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☐ Significant brain usage
☑ Difficult
☐ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---
☐ Nothing to grind
☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks
☑ Isn't necessary to progress
☐ Average grind level
☐ Too much grind
☐ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---
☐ No Story
☐ Some lore
☑ Average
☐ Good
☐ Lovely
☐ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---
☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee
☑ Short
☐ Average
☐ Long
☐ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---
☐ It's free!
☐ Worth the price
☐ If it's on sale
☑ If u have some spare money left
☐ Not recommended
☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---
☐ Never heard of
☐ Minor bugs
☑ Can get annoying
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---
☐ 1
☐ 2
☐ 3
☑ 4
☐ 5
☐ 6
☐ 7
☐ 8
☐ 9
☐ 10

I wouldn't say the quality of the port is the greatest. The art is poor and there's the occasional weird glitching of the mouse, but it doesn't impact the stage itself. As for the game, it's Wedding Dash, you know what you're gonna get. The mechanics of the game are perfectly fine and it's a fun passtime.

This seems like a really fun game but jfc the movement. I didn't mind it too much at first if you're just walking around, but in puzzles where you have to be quick, nimble, as fast as you can, you WILL die. The movement system is so unfair and complicated that it's a chore just to move your head, and good luck in the chase scene in the beginning of the game. I almost had it despite the clunky movement, only to die because I couldn't open a door that I grabbed and pulled multiple times.
I want to give this a try more eventually, it looks and sounds good, there's obviously effort into it, but the movement, I wonder if the dev's playtested their own game with these controls. I really, really wanted to like this game, I was so excited for a circus horror game, but with the way the movement is right now, it's unplayable. Honestly, if the movement was patched, this would be a solid game.