🚨 BREAKING 🥜 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ NEWS 🚨: JIMMY 🔨 CARTER 🧓 HAS 🌍 OFFICIALLY ➡️ ASCENDED ☁️ OUT OF THE PEANUT-USSY 🥜 AFTER 100 YEARS ⏳ OF ABSOLUTE 🔥 BADASSERY 🎉. THIS 🏠 MAN BUILT 🔨 MORE HOMES 🔧 THAN LEGO, WON 🕊️ A NOBEL-USSY 🏆, AND OUTLIVED 💀 EVERYONE 🌟. NOW 👼 HE’S IN HEAVEN’S ☁️ OVAL OFFICE 🏛️, ROASTING 🔥 NIXON 💀 WITH LINCOLN 🎩 AND PROBABLY TEACHING REAGAN HOW TO BE LESS OF A ♥♥♥♥ 🖕, SIPPING 🍹 SWEET TEA 🍑, AND DECORATING ✨ WITH RAINBOWS 🌈. REST 🙏 IN POWER 💪, JIMMY 👑—HEAVEN’S NEW ICON 🌟. LONG LIVE 🔥 THE CARTER-USSY 🍑 ✨!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqTXKFnr6lY

u wot

😤😤😤Talos the mighty! 💪💪💪Talos the unerring! 💯💯💯Talos the unassailable! ✊✊✊To you we give praise!🙏🙇🙌 We are but maggots, 🐛🐛writhing 〰in the filth 👣👣👣of our own corruption! 💰💲🚫🔪While you have ascended😱😇 from the dung💩💩 of mortality, 👥💀and now walk among the stars!🌠⭐✨ But you were once man!👨👨👨 Aye!✅✔✅ And as man, 👦👦you said, “Let me show you the power💪💪💪💪 of Talos Stormcrown⚡👑🔱, born of the North,🆙🔝☝ where my breath 💨💨💨is long winter. ❄⛄I breathe😤😧 now, in royalty,💍👑💲and reshape this land🌐🌄 which is mine.

I do this for you,👉👉 Red Legions, for I love you💞💞💞.” Aye, love. ❤❤❤Love! 💓💓💓Even as man,👴👴👴 great Talos cherished us. 😭😢For he saw in us, 👐👐in each of us,👫👬👭 the future of Skyrim! 👏👏The future of Tamriel!👏👏👏 And there it is, friends! 🙏🙏The ugly truth! 🙀🙀🙀We are the children of man! 👦👨👴Talos is the true god😇⛪💒 of man! Ascended 🙌😇from flesh,👃👃👃 to rule the realm of spirit!👻👻👻👻 The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven👱👱👱 overlords! 👺👺Sharing the heavens 🌌🌌with us? With man?👮👷💂 Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth!🌎🌏🌍 Today, they take away your faith.🚫⛪🚫

But what of tomorrow?⁉⁉ What then? Do the elves 👱👱take your homes? 🏠🏠🏠Your businesses? 🏧🏦🏥Your children? 👪👪👪Your very lives?🔪🔪🔪 And what does the Empire do?🏰🏰 Nothing! ❌❌❌Nay, worse than nothing! ❎❎❎The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor!🙅🙅🙅 Against its own people!😠😠😠😠 So rise up! ☝☝Rise up,👆👆👆 children👶👶👶 of the Empire! 🏰🏰Rise up, 🆙🆙🆙Stormcloaks!💧⚡ Embrace the word of mighty 💪💪Talos, he who is both man and Divine!👼👼👼 For we are the children of man!👶👦👦 And we shall inherit both the heavens🌌🌌🌌 and the earth! 🌎🌏🌍And we, not the Elves👱👱👱 or their toadies, 🐸🐸🐸will rule Skyrim!