I had a debate about what the definition of the word "Bombastic" was with this guy, and I'm still pretty sure he doesn't know what it means. He kept telling the waitress at Chili's that his chicken strip basket was too Bombastic and He'd like to send it back, and she had better Bombastic her way back with those big breasts of hers to alleviate the issue. And also he refused to stop saying "Joe Biden has a Bombastic set of guy parts" even though I was already extremely embarrassed and ready to leave the Chili's. That's when he told me he was going to Bombast his ass into my hands if I didn't stop squawking like a Ham. I still don't know what he meant but after about a 5 second pause he got up and left while yelling the N word at all the white employees.

Last Tuesday this guy arrived at his court ordered community service and ripped a really nasty fart while serving soup to underprivileged kids. It was disgusting, but the worst part is, right before he did it, he locked all the doors, turned the furnace up, and spilled the soup all over the top of his head before saying „suck on this you poor little ♥♥♥♥♥“. Just crass behavior.

There was a rumor going around last Christmas that this guy doesn't believe in Santa Claus, which is weird because he's been catching some heat for sexually assaulting a mall Santa during business hours. Weird time to do it. Anyways, Merry Chistmas. Don't forget the reason for the season.

I heard this guy talking about how much he loves bumper stickers. And not just any bumper stickers. Bumper stickers of the star of david. He has a collection. The back of his 1997 ford windstar has so many star of david bumper stickers on it that we cant even see the real paint anymore and he calls it the jew star radio flyer. Maybe I’m one of those guys who likes to play magic the gathering. Maybe I’m one of those guys who has a binder full of plastic sheets of magic cards. Maybe thats just a rumor no one will ever know. What i do know, is this guy has a binder full of laminated star of david bumper stickers. Some of them are rainbow colors, some of them are are for breast cancer awareness. Some of them are on a Ukrainian flag background. Some of the pages are stuck together though.

This guy has a custom bottle of franks red hot that says “ I put that human ♥♥♥♥ on everything”. Very odd.

A pair of birds settle upon a thistle branch, perched just within the reach of a glistening pond. The birds begin to dance timidly toward the end of the branch where they can reach the water. Just as the delicate feathered beings begin to take their first sip, I shoot my hot ejaculate everywhere, ruining everything.

Okay so fun story for real. Me and this dude go way way back, like talking kiddie boppers ♥♥♥♥. So anyways, back in the day me and this guy were in my mom and dads basement at my old house playing ♥♥♥♥♥♥' elder scrolls, when all of a sudden this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ psycho woman busts down the stairs and start screaming at us. "OH ♥♥♥♥ YEAH MY ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ CALVES OH ♥♥♥♥." screamed this dumb ♥♥♥♥♥. SO we book it the ♥♥♥♥ out of there and head to his house to call the cops and the lady ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ chases us for over half a mile. It was ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ crazy. The worst part is, the lady was all slathered up with butter or crisco or some ♥♥♥♥ and made a huge mess in my basement. I literally could not get that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ butter off my xbox controller so i just threw it away

Three gentlemen enter a bar. The first one sits down at a table, the second sits down at the bar, the last one sits down on the floor. The first man unzips his pants and begins to piss on the bar where the second man is sitting. The second man unzips his pants and begins to piss on the floor where the third man is sitting. The third man unzips his pants and begins to piss upwards to the ceiling. The bar is now covered in piss. It’s a huge mess wow.

I was scrolling through this guys "anime tiddies" folder on his desktop, and I stumbled across a .gif labeled "Mark Mcgwire's ROCK HARD ♥♥♥♥ DEVESTATES A BIRD". When I opened the file my eyes were greeted with the image of not one, but TWO adult men in bird costumes taking turns shoving their hands into the center console of a Toyota Prius. After three minutes of console shoving the men began to kiss eachother passionately, and eventually they began to insert the center console of the prius into one another. After realizing that the console simply did not fit inside of a mans ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, they gave up and started streaming rocket league. They were okay.

Your blood test results just came back in, and the results say "your lizard enzymes are all goofed up".

I was talking to this guy the other day and he told me point blank, “when I was 11 I ♥♥♥♥ inside of a school cafeteria ladies hair net, and she put it on and then served sloppy jo’s to me and my friends.” It was pretty sus….

This is ur official court summons to b-hole court. You have been charged with sanitary equipment confiscation and unrequited erection causation. Report to ur moms big toe for processing, or you will be arrested by the local sheriffs department. Failure to act could result in your placement on the national fartsniffers registry. Thank you.

Okay I let it slide because we're friends but I SERIOUSLY need my b-hole sponge back dude or I'm going to get law enforcement involved. I've already been in contact with a local b-hole lawyer who thinks I have grounds to sue in civil court for a bunch of different state and local sodomy laws. This is your last warning. RETURN. THE. SPONGE. I. CLEAN. MY. BUTTHOLE. WITH.

Hey man it's Chad... just making sure you didn't forget that you borrowed my b-hole sponge a couple months back. Kinda really needing it returned. Get back to me, thanks.

-Chad

It feels like just yesterday I was spoon feeding this lil' guy.... He asked me to do it because he has a baby fetish.

One time this guy pooped in the top part of my toilet, and then put the lid back on and didn't tell me...

This guy has always been like a gay creepy uncle to me. Nice dong as well.

Once this guy told me girls don't have buttcheeks but I'm pretty sure he was wrong because I walked in on my mom in the bathroom once and she had 4

RIP

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+rep nice trader with a big dong as well. Really big.

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