Recent reviews by bu blo

well i dont know i dont know i dont know i hope so
well that is that and this is this
you tell me whjat you want and ill tell you what you get
you get away from me
you get away from me

take off your skin

Fistful of farts lol

"The three principles of Nuclear Throne:
1. You shall never receive good weapons.
2. No ammo pickup will ever be for the weapon you want it to be for.
3. You will never get a good spawn.
Not all three of these principles are at play at the same time, but there shall always be one. For if there is zero, you will immediately die to some random ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ from nowhere."
- Jesus Christ, the Bible

Only once you understand these three principles will you be ready for the action-packed, hilariously difficult, adrenaline-laced package that is Nuclear Throne.

Here's how playing this game goes for me:

1. Want to be able to say I beat this game
2. Do a couple runs un-enthusiastically.
3. Get really far on a run, actually start to like the game, get convinced that I can beat it.
4. Get hit on a floor 1 boss, get angry, and ragequit.
5. An amount of time passes, and the cycle restarts at step 1.

The amount of time that passes between steps 5 and 1 gets shorter every time the cycle restarts. It started with two months of time, now it's at hours. One day I will beat this game. I promise you. I freaking will do it.

Edit: I beat the game literally the first run I did after writing this review. So, there you go.

To be or to be to not, that is the what.

I previously gave this game a really scolding review, but then I beat four of the last bosses first try, so now I like it.

But really though, it's not the best. The level design is so incredibly ♥♥♥♥♥♥, and many of the environment choices make no sense. The bosses are also repetitive and uninteresting. There's no proper exposition so I don't really care for the story. NPCs aren't fun to talk to and don't mean anything. Not really a memorable experience.

Although I will say one thing: excellent soundtrack.

I blinked and I had 100 hours. Pretty good.

It's as if a few people liked the difficulty of a game like Salt and Sanctuary, and they tried to make a game that modeled it, but they were too stupid to know how to make it fun. The stupid ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ people that like this game, I swear. Overwhelmingly positive my ass. People are too scared to actually vote their ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ conscience. There's a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ difference between hard and annoying. I don't understand how I played through so many very difficult games with few complaints yet this stupid little demo of a game based on the great depression is the one that makes me want to set somebody on fire. It makes me want to murder half the people in my town and use their gibs in cupcakes. It makes me want to tell off the only friend I have, actually, ♥♥♥♥ YOU JIM. I'm all I need. Once, this game made me unbelievably angry for 30 straight minutes and every time I went to pee or get water or something, I ended up screaming at my family members on the way. I once refunded this game because of one of the run 'n' guns, AND THEN I BOUGHT IT AGAIN. I wish I kept the money and bought something actually good, like idk Nuclear Throne or something. This game makes me want to move to Spain at nineteen years old, get a phd in astrophysics, and work at the European Space Agency. Actually, that's a good idea, nobody steal that, that's mine. "Lol, you incel there's an easy mode". Sure there is, but it doesn't PROGRESS YOU. I ONLY play video games to BEAT THEM, NO OTHER REASON. Mugman can hug my butt sticks.

DONT play this game

It will RUIN your gaming experience

You fight ONE boss in Hollow Knight and you can never go back

Because you will never find another video game as good as this