Recent reviews by 0rcinux (real)

I was told (begged) by a friend of mine to give this "game" a try. I thought, sure. Why not? I've seen youtubers play it a couple times, kinda looked fun. Unfortunately It's essentially what would happen if Terraria, Skyrim and Runescape had a stillborn disfigured baby. In this mind numbing game I have somehow spent 17 hours on, which I could've spent on more productive things like drinking dish soap, trying to fight crackheads for no reason, or jumping in front of oncoming traffic, you play as some guy who was dropped into the woods for some reason by a bird with tits. You then spend your time building houses (with the same building system as fortnite, a much better game, somehow), fighting bosses that go from piss easy to oneshot every time with just about zero in between, and thinking about better games, which is the only fun part. Despite the ugly graphics which seem to want the same amount of charm that older games such as Runescape has, this game is optimized terribly because the developers went to add every single shading effect they could to make up for the low poly models and low resolution textures (which would be fine without said shader effects) which not only turns any computer made before 2021 into a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ plane engine but also just makes everything blurry and makes the textures somehow look even worse from any distance more than 10 feet.

I'm not sure if I've stressed the fact that this game is boring enough. This game will have you watching shock videos and lighting yourself on fire just to feel something, anything. The music doesn't help, by all means I think the best decision made by the developers so far is having the ability to turn it off. I've actually prepared a list of things I'd rather do than play this "game", which is by no means comprehensive:

-play a round of chess with my dead grandmother's corpse
-get hit by a Ford F-150 at 80 MPH
-have my mother finally admit to me that it's my fault she's single
-have a kidney stone sucked out of my urethra with a vacuum hose
-get an enema with water substituted by the strongest ginger ale ever made
-climb a 40 foot ladder made of swords, all blades facing up
-tie my flaccid penis in a knot
-have my toes bitten off one by one by a horse

Now, this all sounds like I'm exaggerating a lot, which simply isn't the case. The exaggeration is only slight. A good testament to how boring, slow, and painful this game is would be an interaction with the same friend who begged me to play this. I told him I was finally done playing the game, that my opinion on it has finalized and I am not interested in it anymore. He told me I had not given it a chance yet. I checked my time played and there it was. 17 hours. if 17 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hours of playing an OPEN WORLD SANDBOX GAME that you already don't like isn't "giving it a chance" then I have absolutely zero clue what is.

TL;DR: Go play minecraft or something, you probably already have it. It's this but better both graphics wise and gameplay wise and I'm not kidding whatsoever.

I've heard good things about this game, but every time I try to start it up, it crashes to mt desktop as soon as the loading screen finishes. It's probably just my computer, but if this can be fixed, I would very much appreciate it.