”I know what I want in life now, all I really want to do is get high and mow lawns in the trailer park and that’s okay”

”I banged Lucy and knocked her up… No big deal”

”I don’t want a *frigging pharmaceutical boner - I want a boner made with love!”

"Can I get an extra large order of onion rings, uh, a cheeseburger with two extra patties and six slices of cheese, two hot dogs with cheese and bacon, and a large popcorn with layered butter. And can you do four layers on that? Could you poutine up the rings and give me two large beer and two ice cream sandwiches.
Do you want anything Mr. Lahey?"

"That's not you talking Mr. Lahey, it's the liquor."

“Those are my own personal burgers."

“I want a cheeseburger, a store-bought cheeseburger!“

“Do ya like to party? 10 bucks or 6 Dairy Queen coupons.“