Astygmatyk's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2021 @ 3:31am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2021 @ 7:11am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2021 @ 7:35am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 14 Feb, 2021 @ 3:02am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2021 @ 5:52am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2021 @ 4:02am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2021 @ 6:31am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2021 @ 10:23am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 14 Feb, 2021 @ 2:42am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 14 Feb, 2021 @ 7:27am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 4 Dec, 2022 @ 5:50am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 7 Apr, 2023 @ 11:10am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2021 @ 4:05am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 7 Apr, 2023 @ 8:17am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2021 @ 11:55am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2021 @ 10:16am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2021 @ 3:54am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 14 Feb, 2021 @ 5:34am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2021 @ 3:43am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2021 @ 11:47am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 14 Feb, 2021 @ 9:34am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 14 Feb, 2021 @ 7:17am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 7 Apr, 2023 @ 7:45am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2021 @ 7:35am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2021 @ 12:01pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2021 @ 7:35am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2021 @ 7:30am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 14 Feb, 2021 @ 9:39am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 14 Feb, 2021 @ 2:44am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2021 @ 4:34am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2021 @ 4:28am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 14 Feb, 2021 @ 3:02am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2021 @ 10:30am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2021 @ 3:37am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 14 Feb, 2021 @ 2:45am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2021 @ 4:06am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 14 Feb, 2021 @ 5:33am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2021 @ 3:16am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 7 Apr, 2023 @ 11:11am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 7 Apr, 2023 @ 6:12pm

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 7 Apr, 2023 @ 2:00pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

6 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

12 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

1 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

13 / 30

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

4 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

20 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

6 / 30