Mike, Gid, James and Bex played The Parish on Realism. They had a lot of Skype issues.

Whilst being horribly battered on the bridge, Mike threw a pipebomb foreward, and it flew inside a white van full of petrol cans.

"THAT VAN IS GOING TO EXPLODE" Mike warned, "THE VAN IS GOING TO EXPLODE"

Mike watched as Gid ran inside the van.

The van exploded and everything in the area caught on fire.

As Gid later recounted

"I heard 'Crackle Crackle is going to explode', so I ran to what I thought was the safest place, inside the van, and as I jumped in I saw a huge pile of petrol cans and a suspicious looking red light..."

Mike, Alex, Martin and Ali played Tom,James, Bex, Gid at versus Dead Centre.

Team MA'AM led throughout with superb zombie-comboes.

When horded, Mike whipped out the chainsaw:

"You've got that sewn up Mike"
"They'll NEED sewing up!"
"Mike, you're off the CHAIN!"
"They never SAW that coming!"

Sadly, shortly afterwards he tried chainsaw vs. tank, which didn't work out too well.

Also Tom was his own personal PANDEMIC.

The trailing team's tactics degenerated/transcended into Gid firing grenades in all directions, shouting "GRENADE!" just after each one exploded... the smug feeling team MMAX were horrified when this tactic actually got them through the sewer safely!

Bex was on good form and earned "Long Distance Carrier"

Mike, Martin, Ali, James then Tom, Bex, Gid and Alex in the second half of The Parish.

At one point Team JAMM's Martin was left hanging from a ledge where the others could not get back up. But Mike geniously gave him an ULTRABOOST and managed to help him back up from BELOW.

Team JAMM trailed at first, but victory was sealed by better performance on the bridge.

Much fun was had by all.

GRENADE!

First of all, an enjoyably close 'Dead Center' versus match was fought between teams Ali-Nick-Kat and Tom-Gid-Alex. The playing was intense and scores were so tight that a penny would barely fit between them until the very end. What split the teams (though not by much!) was the car-fuelling crescendo: should you split into 2 and 2 or stick together as 4? The decision to stick together gave team Tom-Gid-Alex just enough extra momentum to give them the eventual win.



Then Gid initiated "Undermind VS the internet", the theory being that four of us connected by skype should be able to beat any random players that the internet could throw at us. Gid, Alex and Nick started 'The Parish' as a mildly tipsy Mike joined them. Despite a slight cider-and-kebab disadvantage on Team Undermind, we did well - but not extremely so, as Gid had to depart halfway through and an internet randomer joined us instead. However, despite close scores, Team Undermind chalked up a mighty eventual victory!

The bridge separated the men from the boys, as Team Internet fell at the first hurdle, whereas Mike and Alex got all the way to the helicopter. The only casualty was Nick, who despite boldly engineering the downfall of Team Internet, fell to a tank at the very end of the level and couldn't be rescued. Sorry Nick.

Gid Mike and James played er Tom, Ali, Bex and Nick (I think) on Swamp Fever.

GID: THE BOAT IS HERE! *runs to boat*

GID: NO WAIT IT'S NOT! *gets mobbed*

GID: NOW THE BOAT IS HERE! *runs to boat*

GID: WAIT NO IT ISN'T

MIKE: THE BOAT IS ACTUALLY HERE: *everyone boards the boat*

ALL: Gid you suck

*They cross the river and the doors open*

JAMES & TOM: So Gid shouldn't you have used that boat trip to heal?

GID: I was too busy being annoyed!

Soon they dropped and played again. Tom, Ali, Nick and Bex beat Mike James and Gid by 1500 to 1000.

Later we played the second half of Hard Rain. Tom, Gid and Nick lost to Mike, Nick and Ali, but deserved to win due to heroism such as wiping out Ali and Mike AFTER Ali had entered the safehouse then hiding safely in the safehouse. Also Nick kept dropping which handicapped them immensely.

Gid James and Mike played The French Quarter on Normal Realism. When Mike found his pre-spawn bot had picked up a baseball bat, he toyed with the idea of going back for pistols, but decided "nah what the hell, let's keep a melee weapon" It turned out to be a momentous decision. Shortly afterwards, he swapped it for an innocent seeming frying pan...

♥♥♥♥ happened when they reached the fenced queuing area with the alarm. Sprinting out of the doors, they couldn't avoid startling a roaming witch. It instantly killed James, while a charger swatted Mike out of the way and grabbed Gid.

Out of ammunition, Mike battled up to the scaffold using only his pan, and turned the alarm off. He heard Gid's death scream... and frantically Panned to keep him and coach alive.

He scraped a ninja heal in a brief lull, and battled on alone as Coach was overwhelmed. Eventually he prevailed, but was left with the rest of the map to complete alone.

At times it was tough, but with judicous use of fire, shooting Boomers through walls and of course the Pan, he battled on to the safe house!

The team smashed through the rest of the campaign with James and Gid taking turns to hit the team with the shotgun, before making a solid but not particularly fast performance at the bridge. Then the helicopter started its engines.

James ran ahead, Gid was somehow knocked off a ledge, and Mike was caught by a jockey and died exhorting James to leave him.

James survived, alone.