When opening up your Holiday Lootboxes™ (i.e. gifts - pronounced jifts), remember to take a moment to consider the reason for celebration - the spawning of our lord and saviour RNGesus.

It's Friday the 13th. In Oktober. What better day to post a guide detailing the minutiae of our glorious species.

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Remember to comment, favourite, upvote, retweet, subscribe and SMASH DAT MF LIKE AYYYY 👌👌👌💯💯💯🔥🔥🔥😂😂😂

Trapped in a fleshy prison? Feel like the world has no need for your sorry mortal structure?

You might be just what we need for Necromancy.

Come on down to Hatty's clinic by the dusty old bowl of bones about 12 feet past the sloped bridge. Mind the ball. We'll check you up and see if you've got what it takes to become a fully-fledged boneman. Check-ups include boning, spooking and brain removal.

Standard entry rate is 17,000 Souls and an extra charge of 72,000 Souls for surgery. Present an organ donor certificate and we'll suck the humanity out of you free of charge*.

ᴬˡˡ ᵒʳᵍᵃⁿˢ ᵒʳ ˡᶦᵛᵉˢ ˡᵒˢᵗ ᵈᵘʳᶦⁿᵍ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵖʳᵒᶜᵉˢˢ ᵃʳᵉ ⁿᵒⁿ⁻ʳᵉᶠᵘⁿᵈᵃᵇˡᵉ
*ₑₓcₑₚₜ yₒᵤᵣ ₛₐₙᵢₜy.

Whether you're going out to hunt Spooksgiving eggs, or just relaxing at home around the traditional Hallowmas Tree, just remember to take a moment today and give thanks to Papa Nito for the gift of getting old and dying.

Because with every moment that passes, you get just a bit closer to becoming a skeleton.

Can you feel your body slowly decaying?


C̶̛͈̠͙̳̻̱̬̻̺ͥ͆ͬ͒̔̎̉a̷ͨͦ̍̈̅ͯ͏͉̼͈̯̜̝͉͠ͅn̷̗̙͕͇͕̲̖̎͊̃ͤ̎́̓ ͬ̿͠҉̮͔͚͇͈̝̝̜͙yͧ͏͓͓̲̤͖o̢̖̣̾̾͌͆ͪ͐̆u̥̻̇̓͗͂̉ ̶̭̘̫̹ͫ̎͊͢͡f̡̫̞͖͎͕͉̮̠̯̐͂̎̒̈̑̋̿͟e̿ͪ͗̐̿̅̈̽̿͘҉̗̰̘͙͞ê̸̩̞͕̮̭̯ͦͅͅl̜̩̉ͦͭ͂ ̈҉̛̱͈į̛͉̠͕ͫ̉ͫt̵̥̰̿͛̓ͩ̾?͈̖̪̫̙͖̩̞̂̄̉̚̕

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- Soul of Cinder

"Careful you don't burn yourself with it."
- Cornyx of the Great Swamp