Hello my compatriots!!

The grand opening of the Yeltsin-Center has happened exactly one year ago. On November 26th, 2015 we were all awake long past our bed times, we were all waiting attentively as with the Google election map two weeks before. Just as with the Trump presidency, we sat for hours on end waiting for Yeltsin's Avatar (Putin) to walk up the recently cemented steps of a once-barren field onto what we then found out was the newly-constructed Holy Temple of Boris Nikolayevich Yeltsin, the undying and everpresent Avatar of both Stalin and Hitler, the two great abolitionists of Bolshevism. With every elevation up the steps, our hearts sank lower and lower into our bodies, until they conclusively fell out through our rectums. But when the camera finally caught sight of Putin's final destination, of Yeltsin's Statue, our hearts could not help but reappear in their former positions by a turbulent reentry through the anal cavity. Staloid and Hitloid, These two very different, and yet remarkably similar demigods, came together as one being on a cold February, 1931. Upset vegetarian and Marxist crypto-jew, each cancelling one another out, when at the zenith of a violent esoteric perturbation, the lawful-neutral democratic Yeltsin god was born. Yeltsin's national tendency for a country-wide privatization scheme is as reminiscent of Stalin's far-reaching agricultural collectivization as it is of his 5-year plans, which once again, have touched the lives of all Russian citizens. Yet Yeltsin's all-pervading reforms were not all he had in mind for his Russia; love for the average Russian and the Great Nationalistic Sentiment was at the forefront of Yeltsin's Revolution. As Comrade Adolf made it legal to be proud of one's German heritage, so did Yeltsin persevere to allow ethnic Russians to be able to live and shape the future of their OWN country; not the Union of Socialist Republics, but the Russian Federation. Not to mention, Yeltsin had his own tragic share of personal "kampf"-experiences, which he eternally cemented into 300 pages, mass produced and distributed to the ever greatful masses.

The opening of the Yeltsin-Center in Yekaterinburg serves as an example of Boris Yeltsin's undying, ethereal presence in the lives of ordinary Russian citizens of the RF. Stretching on for a length of two American football stadiums, the Yeltsin-Center fosters within it a fire; a fire of true democratic negligence of communoid subhumans. It is no lie that Boris Yeltsin stood out amongst the rest of USSR's leaders. He did not "beat around the bush," his speeches were not predetermined ahead of time, he did not plant his own men in the audience in order for them to ask him questions to which he was prepared for. Boris Yelsin appeared in the midst of angered future-RF citizens as a white mouse in the presence of hungry night owls. He never knew just what to expect from the masses, yearning for a counterrevolution. But, as described in our favorite childhood saga, "Animorphs," Boris Yeltsin speedily transitions from a white mouse enveloped by enemies, to a democratic-minded Russian bear who is not white but RED, WHITE, AND BLUE. Please keep note of the democratic sequence of these colors. Just as sugar and spice and chemical Q were the necessary ingredients for underaged girls, the colors red, white, and blue are found in each forward-thinking community. Take for example, America, France, or general Vlasov's ROA.

As described in article numero uno, Yeltsmaster disemboweled the existance of the authoritarian state of [SOVIET UNION] by strategically standing on tanks with flag. Had he not fired a round of tank bullet into the Russian White House he never would have secured further victory of democratic values. With this shot Yeltsin released from the building black-clouds which bellowed out towards the sky, thanking Yeltsin for their liberation, for their long-awaited reunification with their white-cloud counterparts. As once the Eastern Germans gladly met their mentally retarded Western brothers, did the two old friends, black smoke and white cloud, finally meet eachother in a lovely embrace after 80 years of communist rule. As is described in the Torah in detail, the communist subversives feed from civil unrest and loaded phrases such as "free," and "college." The effect is even more potent when the two words are used together. Other words like "equality," "socialism," and "humanism" are used to prolong the destructive effect of liberal decadence and throw little eighteen year old girls with blue hair dye into a fit of "red epilepsy." These effects were well known to the "learned elders of Zion," which is exactly why they published their award-winning book, "the protocols," showing how they will subdue the goyim and give them universal healthcare. (a mistake from an economically-literate viewpoint)

By erecting Yeltsin-Center in Yekaterinburg we see that our efforts are not in vain, we are secured by Yeltsin himself who looks down on his State Duma and pats individuals like Vladimir Zhirinovsky on the head and whispers in his ear at night, "I created you, son. You can fight the Poles because Democracy has willed it." We exist because he has willed for it to be so.

If possible, I democratically encourage all of you to make a friendly pilgrimage to the Yeltsin-Center and lay a wreath for our Yeltsin. Sit beside a warm campfire with a portrait of Boris Yeltsin, tell good stories about economic wellbeing in countries of post-Soviet eastern European geographical positioning. Shave your heads and scout your neighborhood for Chechens.

Helpful Websites:
http://www.yeltsincenter.ru/yeltsin-presidential-center
http://yeltsin.ru/museum/