Allow me to introduce myself. I'm the founder of the Anti-Mr. Paul Rudd Society. In this discussion post, I will tell you what made me form such an organization and how I plan to use it to build a coalition of stouthearted people devoted to stopping Mr. Paul Rudd. To plunge right into it, it's easy for us to shake our heads at Mr. Rudd's foolishness and cowardice. It's easy for us to exclaim that we should free Mr. Rudd's mind from the constricting trammels of plagiarism and the counterfeit moral inhibitions that have replaced true morality. It's easy for us to say, "Mr. Rudd's coalition is packed with more effete, maladroit finks than a stray dog has fleas." The point is that it's easy for us to say these things because Mr. Rudd is a dastardly wally. I use that label only when it's true. If you don't believe it is, then consider that if the country were overrun by the worst sorts of daft spivs I've ever seen, we could expect to observe widespread discrimination in our daily lives—stares from sales clerks, taxis that don't stop, and unwarranted license and registration checks by police.

Most people don't realize this, but Mr. Rudd has, in fact, presented evidence in support of his claim that the goodness of something is in direct proportion only to the amount of cronyism in said thing. Of course, his evidence has been rather flimsy in the credibility department. It's generally a lot easier to find evidence that ever since Mr. Rudd decided to extend his fifteen minutes of fame to fifteen months, his consistent, unvarying line has been that crass incubi are inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive. I can't stress this enough, but he wants us to feel sorry for the nugatory malefactors who introduce absurd, baseless, terror-ridden lawsuits intended to destroy the lives of countless innocent people. I suspect we should instead feel sorry for their victims, all of whom know full well that Mr. Rudd believes it's perfectly okay to institutionalize metagrobolism through systematic violence, distorted religion, and dubious science. More than anything else, such beliefs shed light on Mr. Rudd's moral values and suggest incontrovertibly that he and I disagree about our civic duties. I assert that we must do our utmost to follow through on the critical work that has already begun. Mr. Rudd, on the other hand, believes that his belief systems are our final line of defense against tyrrany. Let me end by saying that I know that what I have written in this post will send many readers (especially any who are big fans of Mr. Paul Rudd) into a tizzy or a tantrum. I am sorry, but I remind them that Mr. Rudd's bons mots are all too often clad in the yellow-bellied garb of larrikinism.