[Insert cool headline here]

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>( •_•)>⌐■-■
>Be in 5th grade
>We have to give speech on what we did over summer
>New awkward fat in class, keeps to himself mostly,
plays gameboy when we're at recess
>Doesn't want to give speech, teacher says he has to
>Waddles to front of room, stutters a little
>Suddenly, ♥♥♥♥
>He literally ♥♥♥♥♥ his pants in front of the class and the smell is awful
>Runs out of class, doesn't have to do assignment
>Talk to him next day, claims he "tactically ♥♥♥♥ himself" to avoid having to give his speech
>Mfw
> (⌐■_■)
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>16 years old
>at the library alone, as usual
>minding my own business, as usual
>incredibly hot girl comes walking in
>wearing short skirt,
>Datass.jpg
>she grabs a book
>starts gracefully walking towards me
>she grabs my shoulder
>I can’t speak
>she sits on my lap
>I can’t move
>She’s not wearing underwear
>I am in disbelief
>Rubs up on me until she gets comfortable
>I Have The Hardest Wood Ever
>I still cant move
>realize I’m a chair
>do nothing. because I'm a chair
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(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง ғɪɢʜᴛ ᴍᴇ ɪʀʟ (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง
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