Jim: Greetings sports fans! Welcome to our first in a series of weekly reports on the brand new league called the "Maker's League"! The winner of which will win the coveted Maker Trophy. Is it made up? Who knows? It could also be a copy of a picture of another trophy, so it's totally not infringement!

Bob: That's right, Jim. But we're not here to judge, we're here to report on the week to week smashin' and bashin' that's bound to happen in any proper game of Blood Bowl!

Jim: Before the season properly kicks off, we're going to be giving a quick analysis of the teams that have signed up to play in this inaugural season.

Bob: Wait a minute, Jim. These teams signed up voluntarily to get the chance to be bashed, bruised, smashed, squashed, crushed, impaled or killed? KERRUNCH!!!

Jim: Well... yes.

Bob: Heh heh, just checking.

Jim: With that, let's get to our first team...


Jim: Do us the honor of telling us some more about this Lizardman team, Bob.

Bob: Alright, Jim. This team consists of a Kroxigor, six Saurus and four Skinks. Hopefully their coach can keep his Skinks protected and nothing.... unfortunate will happen to the little guys!

Jim: Why do you have that odd look in your eye, Bob...

Bob: Back in my playing days, we used to eat Skink-skewers on the sidelines between drives!

Jim: That's.... quite and image you've put in my mind, Bob. In any case, they definitely have some interesting names that I've certainly never seen before.

Bob: Perhaps they're names from some faraway land, where down is up and up is covered in tentacles...

Jim: Wait, this isn't a Nurgle team... In any case, let's move on to our next team...


Bob: This team is made up of four Chaos Warriors and seven Beastmen. These worshippers of Chaos Undivided are not known for the subtlety of their game play. A typical strategy they employ is to drive up the center of the pitch, maiming and injuring as many opposing players as possible!

Jim: Sounds like a real party, Bob.

Bob: For sure, Jim. They're also known for the extra appendages they can sometimes sprout as payment for the sacrifices they've made to their dark gods.

Jim: Well that should keep things interesting. You never know when (or where!) you may sprout an extra arm, claws, an extra head or a tail.

Bob: Speaking of claws, let's talk about our next team...


Jim: Ahhhhh, an Orc team. It's good to see a classic team such as this out on the pitch. On this team we have two Linemen, four Blitzers, four Black Orcs and a Thrower.

Bob: That's a lot of green, Jim.

Jim: Indeed it is, Bob. And with no Goblins or Trolls to deal with, this team is a lean green fighting machine and should pose a real threat to the other teams out on the pitch!


Bob: Next up are the Quickstop Berserkers, a Norse team. This team is packing a Yhetee, two Ulfwereners and eight linemen.

Jim: That's right Bob, and keeping with the traditions of the Chaos men of the frozen North, they're barely wearing any clothes!

Bob: There's not a whole lot to do up there but wrestle around with other men for warmth and comfort.

Jim: Well hopefully their "culture" of wearing skimpy clothing doesn't impede their ability to stay on the pitch and out of the injury box!


Bob: The next team.... We have an undead team... BLEGH....

Jim: You do know that as a vampire, I'm considered undead too, right?

Bob: I do.

Jim: Alright then. On this team we have two Mummies, two Wights, two Ghouls, two Skeletons and three Zombies.

Bob: That's right Jim, we'll find out how many extra players those Mummies can add to their team by crunching the opposition!

Jim: Yes Bob, the Mummies do pack quite a punch while the Ghouls skitter around the pitch as they likely did when they were still alive.


Bob: Here we have a team utterly dedicated to one of the gods of Chaos, Nurgle!

Jim: Yes Bob, this team consists of six Rotters, four Nurgle Warriors and a Pestigor.

Bob: This team is a cross between the Undead team and the Chaos team. Rotters form the front line, taking hits and not caring at all. Warriors for giving hits and not caring at all. And Pestigors for blitzing and ball handling.

Jim: They also have the ability to infect opposing players, bringing them over to their side, showing them the love of Nurgle.

Bob: Well they sure don't show a love of personal hygiene.

Jim: That they don't, Bob.


Bob: Ahh finally, an elf team!

Jim: I never took you as a fan of the elves, Bob.

Bob: HEH, I'm a fan of seeing them get smushed into the dirt!

Jim: Well said, Bob. Specifically, this is a team of Wood Elves, made up of two Wardancers, a Catcher and eight Linemen.

Bob: The other teams will need to be sure to watch out for the Wardancers. They're both agile and quite tough (tough for a bunch of stinking elves that is).

Jim: Watch out, Bob. Your bias is showing...


Bob: These last two teams are nothing to write home about, Jim.

Jim: That's true Bob, but we'll give them a couple lines of dialogue anyway, just to keep up the facade.

Bob: The Snot Imps are a Goblin team, two Trolls, a Bombardier, a Pogoer, a Fanatic, a Looney and eight bog-standard Goblins.

Jim: For those new to Blood Bowl, why don't you go over what some of those names mean, Bob.

Bob: Sure thing, Jim. the Bombardier is just as he sounds, he chucks bombs all around the pitch, causing all kinds of carnage! The Pogoer is a slippery little guy, jumping all around on a pogo stick. The Looney spins around on the pitch, attached to a ball and chain. The Fanatic, my personal favorite, is a mad little Goblin with a chainsaw. Who would give a Goblin a chainsaw!? Maximum KERRRUNCH!


Jim: The last team we have is a Halfling team, two Treemen and 13 Halflings!

Bob: That's a lot of stunties, Jim.

Jim: Indeed it is, Bob. Not much to say about this team other than that we can expect them to be turned into piles of red jelly out on the pitch. Watch out for the Treemen though!