SNAFU.

It's a cursed run from the moment you click the green "PLAY" button bro

Cursed? No, it's just the game giving you an opportunity to tell the best possible story :)

Who was the AI director? Randy random has no mercy.

I think the real question is, 'what kind of meteorites?' I mean, if everyone survived you may have just ♥♥♥♥♥♥ free goodies.

Jeeze sounds a lot like my very first colony ever minus the first raid being a solo guy with a doomsday thanks to a HAR mod race.

Still not the shortest colony I've ever heard of. I've put this story out in one or two other threads before, but allow me to tell you the tale of the time I decided to use the "Crash Landed" mod.

I began my journey as I usually did back then, randomizing my colonists until I had three people capable of walking and chewing gum at the same time without hurting themselves. I hit the play button and launched the drop pods:

The first pod slammed into the ground at mach 18 and exploded, instantly vaporizing my doctor and spreading a large pool of chemfuel into the landing zone. The second pod had a softer landing, the farmer/social pawn inside was downed and subsequently set on fire. The third pod landed a short distance away. My third and only walking pawn (the engineer) attempted to save the Farmer and what supplies they could, however the fire was too fierce.

The farmer perished in the blaze, taking most of the supplies with her. The engineer also was downed due to wounds from the fire. Luckily the Man In Black showed up, unluckily for him he was incapable of violence and got mauled to death by a hungry bear while trying to get to the Engineer. The engineer, for their part, later died to starvation and infections.

The only thing I managed to construct was a stockpile zone. It took me longer to randomize my colonists, or write this out, than I spent playing that colony.