i don't like hurting the dogs

Great old school horror. The sound effects in this game make me jump all the time, enemies randomly spawning in corners you can't see, and a cool atmosphere.

weirdest game ive ever played
i have a headache

Tremendously flawed with some hilarious jank, there’s something so charming about all of it. And a blast.

You Rocky Balboa your way through vampires (no, REALLY, use your fists a lot) in this very atmospheric and campy trip, trying to find your lost family members before they’re killed throughout the Count’s castle. Very unique for its time, it has some ‘light’ rogue-lite elements with the randomized item and enemy spawns, and the game is a rough few hour experience, so replayability is existent. It’s the sort of thing you could really speedrun if you know the areas well enough as well as the key item drop locations.

Be sure to utilize the old school quick save and load function a lot. The game is revolving essentially around the whole escort mission scheme with those you save, and as one could expect, the AI is fairly shotty on the damsels’ part. Every other time you run too fast away or close a door inbetween yourselves, they think you’re leaving them alone. You have to keep nudging into them to regain their attention. Look back on them constantly while escorting them to where you need to and they usually follow more consistently. The biggest issue with the navigation overall is that several areas/rooms do look similar and that their designs aren’t exactly unique apart from one another. If your sense of direction is lacking, this may seem overwhelming or redundant. Stamina also runs out very easily and slows you down, but at least you have infinite fist power to counter 👊🏻! It doesn’t do the best job from the beginning to inform you, but the game is in fact running on a timer. If you don’t gather your folks and all by a specific time for each, they will die; they do provide perks and other items to help as a reward for their saving. Anyway, the timer aspect really does make you want to go at a faster pace without it ever feeling ‘too’ tight. It’s possible to get everything in one go.

Atmosphere, for a game of its time, is pretty engrossing with a ‘mostly’ effective soundtrack (it gets especially cheesy with the boss fights but with an older school camp kinda vibe) as well as with some mechanical jank that is only really best explained whilst playing it. Speaking of which, unfortunately, at least playing on the Deck, most of the cutscenes apart from the intro did not properly play for me, so the game just ultimately skipped them.

This really is a game of its time and it shows, but if you really start it from the get-go and become absorbed by the exploration factor with the campy aesthetic, as well as with a bit of patience, it’s a treat. Hidden gem for sure. The gameplay loop is simple but the game map helps it feel a bit bigger than it initially sounds. Even if not always mechanically sound, this is conceptually an interesting experience. Both fun ‘and’ funny at times to play. Absolutely worth 3 quarters from your pocket when this goes on sale. Even then, the $3 full price is well worth it.

Side note, please go see the new Nosferatu film; it’s absolutely gorgeous 👍🏻👍🏻.

You know why you are here...it is a black omen to journey in poor health.