Three minutes into the match last night, nobody has been hurt yet and Guldo is spotted at the opposite side of the map. The boosted speed of the bike build I'm trying takes me to the edge of the map, where I notice a cave I didn't know existed. I go inside and it is empty, so I turn around. That is when I notice something by the entrance.

Sniveling, clinging onto the wall by the entrance like an insect, with his butt sticking out, I find one of my teammates. I am confused at first, but then it hits me. The cave is hidden right at the border of two zones in case one gets destroyed. This is an Emergency Time Machine (ETM) Gamer.

This flooded me on the spot with a flashback of one of the first seasons of Attack on Titan when, after spending all of their resources and losing valuable people, the injured heroes crash through the glass windows and collapse exhausted onto the floor, only to notice their clean, fully-supplied, fresh teammates hiding comfy under the tables with all the doors locked and one of them waves languidly from under the table at one of the heroes.

I feel they should add to the game a cinematic achievement for that kind of player when the ranking patch comes out. Here's what the script should be like:

EXTERIOR, A WELL-LIT MUDDY FIELD - NIGHT
The players seem exhausted, and Coach Vegeta is shouting at them through the rain.

COACH VEGETA: "One of you is somehow missing, so you better work harder than ever before!"

INTERIOR, A DANK LOCKER ROOM
A relaxed player is sitting comfortably in his dry uniform, which his mom ironed for him last night and left him a note: "For my little champ, we're very proud of you". He sits on a bench by the door nearest the school bus. He has an earbud in his right ear, and is holding his vape pen and a fiddget spinner. A door slams open on the opposite end of the room and Coach Vegeta lumbers in out of the rain, soaked and muddy. Lightning strikes outside, illuminating the locker room and momentarily turning him into a dark silhouette. He looks down at the fresh, warm player.

SLOW CLOSE-UP

COACH VEGETA: "I thought I'd find you here".

In his hand, the coach is carrying something wet and muddy, something which he hangs on that player's locker. It is a bronze participation medal, in the shape of a smiley face.

COACH VEGETA: "You are the NUMBA one ETM gamer".

There is a pause, as we get a close up of the dripping medal swinging in the wind.

VOICEOVER: "DRAMATIC FINISH!!!"

The medal continues swinging in the wind, even after the words "DRAMATIC FINISH!!!" are stamped on the screen.

FADE TO BLACK