1. At least you don't have to build an apartment complex to win in Apex.

2. Before i played Apex Legends, i had a small wee-wee, no friends, no girlfriend, depression,and absolutely no life. These things haven't changed, but the game is pretty good.

3. You open the game and finish your 3000 word essay that's due tomorrow while it loads you into the main menu. You pray they fed the server hamsters today as you queue for a game. You pick Octane cause you like running around fast, not cause he's on drugs. Your teammates pick Caustic and Wraith. It's another TTV Wraith. The champion squad is a pred and 2 master players. The game begins and your caustic spends all game on his own trapping buildings, while you run around juiced up looking for loot and killing anyone in your way. You get jumped by a squad because footstep audio doesn't exist and you couldn't hear them coming. TTV Wraith goes down. You clutch a 1v3 because mastiff is balanced. Meanwhile, your Caustic is setting up traps outside the zone. You collect your Wraith's banner and try to respawn them but they leave with 0.2s left on the timer. You're in awe that this one stayed that long. Someone sees you next to the respawn beacon and kills you. They then immediately get 3rd partied while a far off 4th squad member misses all his kraber shots on them. The predator player shows up out of nowhere and wipes everyone in one sweep, dropping another 4k 20 bomb in the process. Your caustic dies to zone. You're back in the main menu and a random level 500 is waiting there for you in your party. They complain about not having heirlooms despite playing since season 1 but the dude that started last week has 2. You queue for another game. You get disconnected because two server hamsters passed out from hunger. Code: leaf. You wait to load back into the main menu and queue once more, cause you know it's worth going through it all again just to take another glance at Loba's thick ass.

10/10. Def recommend

4. doesnt launch with origin

edit: easy anti-cheat banned me for a false positive and support wont believe me lol just be careful with what software is on ur pc, good game bad support

edit 2: randomly got un-banned 2 months later after "a review" idk why they re-reviewed when support said the case was closed. anyways thx apex

L matchmaking, L servers, L anti cheat, L EA.

This game gave me:

· AIDS
· allergies
· Alzheimer's disease
· anal abscesses
· anal Cancer
· anal Itching
· anal Tear
· anxiety disorders
· arthritis
· asthma
· astigmatism
· autism
· autoimmune diseases
· benign prostate hyperplasia (BPH)
· bipolar disorder
· brain cancer
· breast cancer
· candidacies
· cataracts
· carpel tunnel syndrome
· celiac disease
· cervical cancer
· chicken pox
· Chlamydia
· chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS)
· chronic illness
· cold sores
· colon cancer
· constipation
· common cold
· COPD
· cough
· Crohn's disease
· cystic fibrosis
· dementia
· diabetes
· diarrhea
· depression
· down syndrome
· Ebola
· eczema
· endometriosis
· eye disorders
· fibroids
· fibromyalgia
· flu
· food poisoning
· Gallstones
· genital herpes
· gonorrhea
· Graves' disease
· Hashimoto's thyroiditis
· hay fever
· hepatitis
· herpes
· high cholesterol
· HIV
· Hodgkin's disease
· HPV
· hypertension