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You know them all because of the tadpole, you're sharing thoughts. The only reason you don't know anything about Shadowheart is because she doesn't know anything about herself, either. And you still only know surface level stuff. Yes Astarion is a vampire, but he still has a whole story that unfolds. Gale needs to feed the orb or he'll literally explode and end the game, so yeah, that's kind of urgent to find out about quickly.
This happens as quickly or as slowly as you make it happen. The trigger is Karlach. If you rush it, then it happens sooner. If you make different choices, it doesn't happen at all. If you don't know why he turned into a devil, then you didn't pay any attention the the cut scenes explaining it. You didn't talk to Will about it. It's made VERY clear why he got turned.
The trigger for everything in this game is you.
Art is wake, you go talk to him.
If you choose to talk you ask him if he can remember anything, and he says what he remembers. If you choose to let Halsin deal with it, the guy says straight forward the exact same thing.
Like I have said before, the writing in this game is made so the "peak choice" is like a story in which you can choose a red or a black car, but to go the exact same road the exact same length.
If there wasnt so many people making threads about how "genius" this game is, there would not be so many on how dumb it is. The problem is not accepting the game is "just another game like dozens on steam".
No matter how much the fanbois try to make arguments, this game is not anything but an over costly regular game that had a nice marketing budget to cover the many "journalists" they need to give prizes.
Because it is how it works. Those prizes you talk about so much, the ones called "popular this" or "choice that" will rely 80% or sometimes 99% on the votes of game "publications" which will vote under contract.
The guy who makes these stupid "prizes" even tried to trademark generic names so no one makes a "true game award" and rob the cash cow of being paid to promote specific games.
That being said, the "poor" reasoning on OP is also a sign that even the simplistic BG3 still beyond some players, which justify not making good games. You need players to fund the business, and making good interesting games wont get you many players.
Maybe it gets you more money if the people smart enough to make more money are also interested in your game, but there is a chasm beyond a game that is "dumbed down" enough to have MANY paying players, and interesting enough to have MUCH paying players.
Did you... even speak with anyone between the ship and just hitting the Grove? Like, anyone at all? The narrative directly tells you through no uncertain terms, multiple characters (Lae'zel, Gale, Shadowheart, Nettie if you managed to talk with her, Wyll to a degree) that you are on a time table with dealing with the worm. You cannot just "sit and soak it in" because you could turn into a squid at a moments notice, or rather, should already be one (again, multiple characters talk on the fact you should be one already, including party members). Time isn't on your side, so why would you think you should have time to just soak it all in?
As for the devil bit. You definitely didn't pay attention there because Wyll tells you what he came to the Coast to do, what lead him getting captured, and implanted with the worm. You got his devil form so that means you did the thing that was against his contract, his contract holder came and directly said, "This is punishment for disobeying me and letting Karlach live" and yet you say it is out of left field? Seriously? Did you walk off to get a snack during all of this?
Since you are playing multi-player, let me ask; are you and your Spouse even noticing/bothering to join each others conversations when they start? Are you aware when one of you start a conversation with someone, a conversation bubble appears near their portrait and you have to click it to join? Are you both just aimlessly starting conversations separately, therefore you both lose out on a crap ton of context since you're doing multiple conversations at the same time?
This kind of thing always happens when a game gets so much praise and so many awards. There's bound to be people that play it and go "this is it? You mean it isn't literally perfect? Lame." Just try to enjoy yourself and if you can't...then you don't like the game and you wouldn't be the first.
It came out in a year with multiple good games. 2023 was not a gaming drought.
Popularity is the worst argument for quality you can ever make.
Writing is fine though. I've played through Pathfinder: Kingmaker and honestly all companions were pretty unlikable and extreme stereotypes "I'm a girlboss I can be strong like a man hurrdurr", "I'm a sad dwarf everything is miserable boohoo", they feel much more natural in BG3.
Main story was fine in both. Pacing was fine in both too. If you feel 'overwhelmed' I think it's a you problem.